3 Ways to Help your Teen Manage High School Stress

High school is a challenging and demanding time, and your child will experience a fair amount of stress. However, you can be a support system for your student as he or she deals will these challenges. Read on for three strategies for making sure your child’s stress doesn’t get the best of her.

1. Promote Balance

If your child is taking on too much, he or she could be hurting herself and her mental health. Remind her about the dangers of overcommitting; not only can she become overly stressed, but her academic life could suffer if she doesn’t pay attention to her well-being. Make sure your child is taking time for her health and wellness.

2. Be Proactive About Your Child’s College Search

When your child is a freshman, start thinking about college selection research. It’s not too early to be thinking about what kind of college your child might want to attend in four years. As a tenth or eleventh grader, she should be researching colleges and formulating her college list. Developing a strategy early can reduce stress later on.

3. Take Advantage of Summer

Colleges want to see students being productive during summers. Discuss summer programs, jobs, volunteering, and other ideas for how your child can spend summers productively. Check out 3 things you should be doing this summer for more ideas. Start planning early in the year to avoid having to scramble at the last minute; many programs, for instance, require students to apply in the winter to consider applications

Final Thoughts

Be supportive and step in when your child seems overwhelmed. Even if your student doesn’t ask for help, make it clear that you're there to support and help her through any issues that arise. If the stress seems too difficult for you and your child to figure out together, consider other resources, such as your child’s guidance counselor or a mental health professional.

8 Things Parents Need to Know About SAT and ACT Studying Prep

For many teens, the ACT or SAT tests are the first task they undertake that has the real potential to shape their future. While test scores are just one of many parts of the college admissions game, they are often an integral piece of the college applications that will shape your child’s path in higher education. For students who perform well on them, doors will open. And for others, sometimes doors will close.

We at Edbrand know how stressful this sounds, and while these tests are indeed important, don’t worry. Your teen doesn’t have to go through this stressful experience all by him or herself. There are many ways that you can help, and there are lots of opportunities to build a team of other supporters too. With some basic knowledge of the SAT and ACT studying preparation process, you can help to support and guide your child through this process too.

Here are nine things every parent should know about SAT and ACT prep work.

1. Your child needs to choose one test and focus on it.

It’s easy to assume that because there are two tests accepted by colleges and universities, your child should prepare for both and then submit whichever scores are best. We hear this a lot, but it’s not the best strategy.

Remember, preparing for the SAT or ACT is hard work and it exacts a toll in energy, time, and stress. Prepping for two separate tests when you intend to submit scores from only one of them is a waste. Instead, your child should choose which test to take early on, and focus his or her energy on preparing for that test alone.

2. There is no ‘better’ test, so choosing between the SAT and ACT is a personal choice with no one-size-fits-all answer.    

True, the SAT and ACT are very different tests. For starters, the ACT includes a science section, its essay portion is structured differently, and overall it requires students to move from one question to the next at a quicker pace. Meanwhile, the SAT has undergone recent changes, study materials are still being adapted for the latest version, and many commercially produced study guides are now out of date.

While the SAT has by many counts built a bigger name simply by being associated with a host of other standardized tests from the College Board (PSAT, PSAT 8/9, etc.) and by having a century-old history, in 2011 the number of students taking the ACT exceeded the number taking the SAT for the first time, and it continues to gather a bit more momentum each year.

This is all to say, there is no one test that is better than the other. To choose which test is the best choice for him or her, your student will need to research the tests and should ideally take a practice test from each one to decide which feels more comfortable while also considering which yielded a higher score.

3. Encourage your child to set a realistic goal score.

It can be difficult to gauge an appropriate goal without any data, so your child should enlist all the help he or she can get when setting this goal. First, use the diagnostic test as a starting point. Consider what your child scored on this test, and encourage him or her to set a goal that represents significant improvement without overextension.

To get a better idea of an appropriate goal, consider talking to a guidance counselor, SAT tutor, or private college adviser such as us. Obviously, the lower the score, the more room there is for improvement, so a goal of improving up to 200 SAT or 5 ACT points can be feasible if the starting score is under about 1100 (SAT) or 22 (ACT). If the starting score is higher, the margin of improvement may be smaller, but it can still be significant.

When setting the goal score, also consider the range of scores accepted at target colleges. For safety schools, your teen’s goal score should fall above 75% of the range of acceptable scores. For target schools, it should fall at least around 50%, and for reach schools your teen should aim to fall above 25% of the admitted score range.

4. Even students who are ‘bad test-takers’ can do very well on the SAT or ACT with the right preparation.

Although your child may not excel on tests in school, or even on previously taken standardized tests, the SAT and ACT are a bit different. These tests don’t measure knowledge gained and don’t require the rote memorization that many other tests do. Instead, they focus on measuring critical thinking skills and how a student is able to apply their knowledge in unique or complex ways.

Because these tests are so different from the other tests that students typically take, there is really no such thing as a “bad test-taker” when it comes to the SAT or ACT. Instead, there are prepared test-takers and unprepared test-takers.

Learning how to perform well on the SAT or ACT is a skill in and of itself, and preparing specifically for these tests is important. Many smart, high-performing high school students will find that they do not perform as well as they expected simply because they took their performance for granted and did not prepare specifically for the test.

With the appropriate preparation and attention paid to SAT- or ACT-specific skills, all students can improve their test scores and be successful on these important assessments.

5. There is no one-size-fits-all preparation method.

Most of your child’s test preparation should focus on test-taking strategies. Of course, there will also be some content and core curriculum that needs brushing up on, but the majority of the work to prepare for the SAT or ACT is focused specifically on how to take these tests in a smart and focused way.

Different students will benefit from different test-taking strategies. Your child’s formative or diagnostic assessment will help to highlight areas in need of improvement. Rather than viewing these as academic areas of weakness, though, they should be thought of as unfamiliar question types or strategies.

It is possible for your child to tackle SAT or ACT prep on his or her own. To do this, start with a highly rated commercial study guide or use the free resources endorsed by the College Board and available through Khan Academy. By creating a thoughtful study timeline based on the materials available, your child will be able to learn strategies and content in a focused and timely manner.

Another option for test prep is a tutor or test prep service. Although these services generally cost more than simply buying a commercial study guide, they also provide more insider knowledge than can be provided in a book. Tutors and test prep services are intimately familiar with the test, and have tried and true strategies that they’ve developed with many students over an extended period of time.

Before committing to any paid service, be sure to ask about the specific costs associated with the service, the time commitment that will be required of your child, and the average test score increase that most clients experience.

6. Expect for your child to take the test more than once.    

Even if you begin test preparations well in advance of your child’s first test date, the vast majority of all students will take the ACT or SAT more than once. This is because the test-taking environment can be stressful and, despite thorough preparations, nothing can exactly recreate the actual test-day experience.

The first time your child takes the test, it should be thought of as a dry run. If your child happens to get the score he or she was looking for on the first try, that’s great! If not, remember that this first test helps to get your child more comfortable with the testing experience and gets first-test jitters out of the way. The next test will be a less stressful experience, and most students experience the greatest score improvements between their first and second test administration.

7. You know your child. Think about how you can support him or her best.

Different students need different kinds of support and thrive in different learning environments. For example, if you know that your child typically needs one-on-one support to focus and excel, a group test prep class is obviously not a good idea.

You should also keep in mind your child’s individual temperament. Is your child typically self-motivated and puts a lot of pressure on him or herself, or does your child often need external motivation to get started? Does your child get stressed out easily?

You are the parent, and you know your child best. Think about how to support him or her without adding any unnecessary stress, and be careful not to let your own anxiety or worry rub off on your teen.

8. How You Can Help

Developing study routines is something that you can certainly get involved with to help set your child on the path to success. This could take many forms, but here are some ideas to get you started:

• Create a quiet study space for your child. Stock the area with writing utensils, scrap paper, an appropriate calculator, and a dictionary or study guide.
• Institute a “Question of the Day” in your house. You can find practice SAT or ACT questions online or in study guides. Take care not to make this a competitive or anxiety-producing experience; instead, try to keep it fun and lighthearted. 
• Help with time management. High school students are busy. They often have an extensive schedule of extracurriculars following their full day at school. It can be hard to find consistent time to prepare for anything else. Help your child to review a calendar, come up with a weekly study time goal, and commit to specific study times during the week to ensure that he or she finds the time necessary.
• Help with stress management. Not only are high school students busy, they are also stretched thin, often to the point of stress. You can help by creating a calm and supportive environment at home. Try to be involved without meddling by letting your child know that you’re available for advice or simply to listen anytime.
• Help with logistics. Your child will need to register for the test, arrange transportation, and make sure that he or she has all the required tools packed and ready to go on test day. These are all things that you can help with. Review the SAT or ACT calendar to become familiar with registration deadlines and put them on your household calendar. Offer to drive your student to the exam, and make sure you know where it is and how you’ll get there. Help your child to review a test day checklist and make sure that everything is packed and ready to go the night before the test.    
• Finally, make sure your child knows that a test doesn’t define his or her worth. Yes, the SAT or ACT is probably the most important test he or she has taken, but ultimately it won’t change who your child is or what he or she’s capable of doing. Remind your child that although it’s a big one, the test is still just a test. There may be an eye roll in response, but don’t worry, we’re used to that.

If you still have questions about the SAT or ACT, come meet us!

Parents: How To Get Your Child To Take Academic Responsibility

As parents, you probably feel that your child is incredible. To you, they are intelligent, motivated, intellectual, creative, and everything that colleges would ever want in a student However, as brilliant as your child may be, you may recognize that they don’t always try their best when it comes to schoolwork.

It’s important that you as a parent note that this kind of apathetic behavior towards school work is perfectly normal. As the school year drones on and the spring semester gets well underway, students often lose interest in academics. It’s possible that they have been in the same classes for so many months that they may be getting bored of the subject. It’s also possible that they may not fully understand how much is riding on their academics from a college admissions perspective.

Either way, if you feel like your teenager is lacking academic responsibility or may be losing interest in school, here are some suggestions you can try to help get your child back on track.

Realize That Times Have Changed

Just because high school and college applications were a certain way when you were in high school doesn’t mean that that’s how they are now. With the advent of technology in private education schools and changing pedagogies, the likelihood of there being similarities between your high school experience and theirs is pretty slim.

Thus, when you’re talking to your child about schoolwork and assessing whether they’ve lost interest in academics, it’s important to not compare your high school career to theirs. You truly don’t know everything about what they’re going through, so the, “When I was your age, we did…” argument is truly irrelevant here.

Of course, you should try to give your child advice but only where you think you are qualified to give it. A good method is to not tell your teenager what you did when you were their age but instead tell them what you would do if you were in high school now. Finally, make sure that it is clear to your child that just because times have changed doesn’t mean that you are not still knowledgeable and capable of helping him/her.

Motivate

The fact of the matter is that you are your teenager’s parent, not a cool teacher or a counselor who your teen may feel comfortable sharing their struggles with. It’s important for you to try and break down that communication barrier by presenting yourself as someone who is here to help rather than rigid old Mom/Dad with impossibly high expectations.

A great way to try and break down that communication barrier to start by assuring your teen that it is okay for them to make mistakes as long as they learn from them and that you are always there to help them if they need it. You need to also stress that when he/she talks to you, they are in a no-judgment zone. Your only goal should be to help your teen, not criticize them. If your teen knows that you are serious about that, they will be more motivated to share their life with you.

Hopefully, by creating this safe environment for your child to talk, your child will be able to open up about his/her academic struggles. From there, you two can work together to find the root of the issue and start working to get your child back on track.

Encourage Asking For Help

It’s not that easy to get back on the right academic track by yourself, especially as a busy high school student with a host of other responsibilities that have nothing to do with academics. Thus, it is often necessary to bring in others to help fix an academic situation in need.

It is up to you, as the parent, to make sure your child has all of the tools that they need to succeed. Be sure to stress to your teen that you are there to help them succeed academically, whether it be helping them with their homework or getting them some school supplies to be more organized. You can also tell them that you’re more than willing to outsource the help to a professional like a near-peer mentor, counselor, or tutor who can better relate to them and understand their academic struggles.

If your teen knows that there are all of these resources at their disposal and tons of people who are rooting for him/her to succeed, they may start to get the sense that academics are important. It may even motivate them to start improving their grades on their own.

 Be Tolerant

Teens are often in an emotional state while they’re in high school, and can you blame them? The high school environment is not always kind, what with the prevalence of bullying, cliques, and other social pressures in many high schools. Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and understand what they might be going through emotionally. Their emotional state and their school environment all factor into their academic performance.

If you create an open, loving, and tolerant environment for your teen to share what their experiences in school are like and overall what is going on with them, your teen may be more open and honest with you. They may also respect you more and be more likely to take your advice on getting their academics back on track

The Takeaway

When it comes to eliciting change from your child, it’s important to create an open, non-judgmental conversation with the sole aim of helping your teen. Let them know that their problems are your problems and that you are only interested in their success. From there, you can foster a positive relationship that will lead to your teen’s academic improvement.

For other helpful advice for the parents of high school students, check out our parenting sub-blog! 

Parents: 7 ways you can help your child as they enter class 10

For many parents, their teens’ high school years represent a difficult balance to strike. During freshman year, students may still need significant support and guidance from their parents, but by senior year, most parents hope that their students will soon be capable of venturing out on their own. The transition to independence during a time of such high stakes can be delicate to maneuver for many well-meaning parents who want to encourage freedom while still providing a safety net.

Sophomore year in particular can sometimes prove trying for the relationships between parent and teen. While freshman year represented transition and likely a great deal of excitement about the start of high school, by sophomore year that newness has worn off and students can no longer take as much time to acclimate as grades and coursework gain momentum.

If you’re the parent of a rising tenth grader you probably already know that during class 10 your teen will begin to take the first major steps towards realizing his or her college dreams. In this post, we outline ten considerations for supporting your teen through this transformational year.

1. Begin Talking About Life After High School

For many teens, the years after high school seem like a distant and abstract time. The reality, though, is that the future will be here before either of you knows it, and there’s no better time to start discussing it than now. Be an open sounding board for your teen as he or she discusses possible career choices, college preferences, and other ambitions. Try to offer insight and perspective without being overbearing.

2. Explore Careers

Starting during class 10, your teen is able to gain actual experience in certain career fields. Start a conversation about your teen’s interests and consider different angles for applying them towards a future career. Have conversations about interests and ambitions. Try to inspire some more thought about the future. Ask them for their summer plans and how an internship could help them understand what they might be

3. Take Personality or Career Tests

While it is still a bit early to think seriously about a future career, it’s never too early to bounce ideas around. Taking personality and career tests can actually be a fun way for your teen to start to consider options and to frame his or her strengths and interests in a productive way. Encourage your teen to explore some of these tests. Many are available online, and taking them with friends can even be a fun, social activity.

4. Attend Career Days

Another casual and fun way to explore future career options is through career days at school. You can help your teen to make the most of these events by perusing the event flyers in advance to preview who is visiting and what presentations sound most appealing.

If your teen is interested, encourage him or her to make a list of the presenters he or she would like to see. Your student might even wish to compile a list of questions for these professionals in advance to truly maximize the experience.

5. Delve Into the College Search

If you know you are going to study aborad, class 10 is the year that the college search begins to get real. If your teen has not already, he or she should begin to keep a college list. This list will grow and change with time, but it should reflect schools that your teen might consider attending. As time goes on, it will narrow in focus and your teen’s true college ambitions will become clearer.

6. Education Boards

Its time to start thinking about the boards you will be chosing for class 11 and 12. While most colleges recognize governemnt boards such as ISC and CBSE, this is the best time to look into other options such as the IB program as well as taking test to get college credeit such as the AP. Check out our IB vs. AP blog post to learn more.

7. Get More Involved in Extracurriculars

While class 9 was a time to explore new options and branch out, class 10 is time to focus in. Encourage your teen to identify the activities for which he or she truly has a passion, and to invest more time in these while letting other, less productive activities go. Ideally, your teen should eventually focus in on two or three extracurriculars that represent broad interests, ideally incorporating some kind of service element.

Need more information? Come have a chat with us

9 Easy Ways to Help Your Teen Become a Better Writer

As a parent, you know how important it is in the long run for your teen to have good writing skills. Whether it be an e-mail, a memo, or a college academic paper, your student will probably have to write in some capacity throughout college, their career, and beyond.

However, as teenagers, many students view writing as a chore rather than an essential skill. In their world, writing comes mostly in the mundane form of essays and term papers for classes and standardized tests. All the writing on the SAT, ACT, AP exams, and many high school classes are either assigned as homework or are part of a timed, high-pressure setting. It’s very difficult for most high school students to view writing as a fun, creative activity.

As a parent, you are probably looking out for your child’s future and want to make sure that your teenager has the writing skills that they will need to succeed later on in life. Here are some ways that you can help your teenager view writing as a positive experience and improve their writing skills at the same time!

Play the Coach

Understandably, your teenager is unlikely to respond well to you coming up to them and saying, “Buddy, you need to become a better writer. I’m going to look over your essays and correct all of them”. This might make your student might feel like they’re being harshly judged or being called stupid by their own parents.

So, instead of telling them what to do and correcting their writing without their consent, try to take some time and create a conversation about their writing skills first. Ask them about their last writing assignment, whether they thought they did well, and what they feel they need help with. Then, you can offer to look at their writing not to correct or judge, but just as a second set of eyes that they willingly allowed to view their work.

It’s also important that when you’re first doing this to not completely tear apart their writing or tell them to start over. Start with some basic grammar and spelling corrections, let them see that you’re just trying to help, and then eventually become harsher with your opinion. This way, you help your child get better grades on their writing assignments, they don’t feel bad about you correcting their work, and they become better writers.

Practice, Practice, Practice

In high school, students may get writing assignments in a class once a week at most. While this may seem like a lot of writing to the average high school student, that amount of writing is not at all enough to cause a dramatic improvement in writing skills. Ideally, students should be practicing their writing on a daily basis.

In order for your child to improve their writing skills, try motivating them to practice their writing every day. This daily writing can take the form of journal exercises, free-form topic writing, warm up writing, etc. There doesn’t have to be a format to the writing, and it doesn’t have to be long. They just need to practice correct grammatical structure, spelling, punctuation, and most importantly, forming a coherent thought on paper.  

Edit Their Writing

You can be the person who helps your student submit quality writing assignments. You don’t have to completely rewrite their papers and essays, but you can offer to do some basic Spell Check-type editing. This includes fixing the grammar, spelling, and punctuation usage of your student’s writing.

While there are many apps, websites, and Spell Check functions that can edit in this way, you can stress to your child that there is no real substitute for proofreading.

Remember, it’s important that you phrase your editing of their work as a discussion with your child instead of simply using a red pen to fix their work and handing it back to them. Your student is not going to become a better writer if you don’t explain why you’re correcting things and tell them what they’re doing wrong.

Encourage

It’s important not to just focus on the negative. While giving them ways to improve on their writing and helping them through the editing process, you should make sure to also give them gentle encouragement and remind them that they’re off to a great start while you’re going through edits and revisions.

Some ways to encourage your young writer are:

• You can point out the positive aspects of their writing or a particular passage or sentence that was done very well.

• You can tell your student how their writing impacted you, how you felt when you read it. Make sure to tell them this as a reader, not as their parent or teacher. This positive reinforcement will help your student want to improve their writing.

Ask Your Child to Read Their Writing Aloud or Backwards

It’s surprisingly common for writers at any age to miss key errors or confusing passages when they read their writing to themselves. Since you’ve written it yourself, you’re likely to read over your work quickly because you already know what it says. Thus, your scan may not catch all the errors that you made.

A great way to get your student to slow down and catch all the errors in their writing is to have them read their writing out loud. Sometimes hearing their words can help them decipher whether a sentence is correct or whether it makes sense.

If they don’t want to read their writing aloud, they can try reading their writing backwards–i.e., they can start from the last sentence and work their way to the first sentence. This causes their brain to focus more on the material and read closely because they are reading a pattern of sentences that don’t necessarily make sense. This may not help them decipher whether their writing is adequately portraying the message, but it’s a great way for them to catch grammatical and spelling errors.

Make Writing A Priority

If your student agrees, you both can arrange some time every day to work on their writing skills and help them get better at writing in general. This may take a bit of convincing given that, as high school students, they have a lot of responsibilities and very busy schedules. You can only do this with the enthusiastic consent of your student. They have to want to become better writers.

If you don’t make sure your child is fully onboard with this plan, you may end up reinforcing the idea that writing is a chore. Then, they may not want to do it later in life, when it becomes essential. In other words, be an enabler, not a drill sergeant.

Incentivize Writing

Your student may become more enthusiastic about writing and improving their writing skills if they had something to show for it besides better grades on their essays. A great way to incentivize your child to improve their writing is to encourage them to participate in writing contests or get their writing published in a school newspaper or other publication. After all, it’s far more rewarding to see one’s work in print than to simply get it back with red marks or a grade hastily written across the top. By getting your child involved in writing for rewards, you could get them excited about writing in general and encourage them to improve their writing skills.

Use Social Media and Technology To Your Advantage

Nowadays, teenagers are using so much shorthand and acronyms in their texts and social media posts that it almost stops looking like English at times. This certainly does not help students become better writers for school, college, and their career.

Thus, you may want to challenge your student to start practicing proper grammar and punctuation when they text their friends or post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Odds are they probably post on these social media channels so often already that you wouldn’t have to do much to convince them. Thus, they would be getting valuable practice forming coherent thoughts and sentences almost every day, and they may even receive feedback from their peers and social media followers.

Hire a Writing Tutor

If your student’s writing skills are far below where they should be at his or her age, or if you don’t think you have enough time to dedicate to helping your child, you may want to consider hiring a writing tutor to help get your student back on track.

This doesn’t have to cost a ton of money. You can look to your student’s high school and your local community for older students or individuals who can look over your student’s writing and help them become better writers for a lower fee than some of the professional services out there.

Don’t just leave it up to the experts though. You should still check your student’s writing from time to time to make sure that they really are showing improvement.

5 ways to help your child with rejection

During admission season, we all know what the last thing anyone wants to see is the infamous “thin letter.” There are many reasons why this document can be scary or stressful to receive, one of the most obvious being that it can indicate a rejection or a waitlisted status from a beloved school. While this let-down is difficult for you as the parent, it may be hard for you to imagine or understand how your child is feeling during this time — especially if they are reluctant to communicate with you.

So how do you come to better understand your child without making them feel like you are prying? And how can you best support them when things don’t turn out exactly in their favor? While this thin letter may feel final, it is important to remember that no matter what, there are always alternatives and always other plans that can be made. Keep reading for some tips and tricks on helping your student cope with a rejection or wait list letter!

Don’t panic

We know how you might be feeling right now: outraged, shocked, surprised, disappointed, upset. These are all really valid, after all, it’s a scary and stressful time! 

While it’s ok (and normal) to be feeling this way, it’s important to take your child’s perspective into account — if you’re panicked, imagine how they must be feeling. After all, it’s their future in question, not yours.  

It’s ok to for you to panic in private, but if you demonstrate that you’re very worried to your child, chances are you’ll make them even more worried, and no one needs that. Try venting to your friends, your spouse, and other adults that you trust, but try to manage your emotions in front of your child. 

It might help you to keep your feelings of panic in check by reminding yourself that there are always alternatives!

Be There to Listen

In the case of a rejection or a wait list, be sure to let your child take the lead. If they bring up the rejection/waitlist letter, then that probably means they are ready to talk about it!

Listen to how they feel and be sure not to overshadow these feelings with your own. After all, it’s your child’s future, not your own. Take the time to talk to your child about their options — are they waiting on other admissions results? Did your child apply to a safety school? How high up on their list was the school they were rejected/waitlisted from? If they were waitlisted, are they considering taking a spot on the list?

While your child should be taking the lead in these conversations about admissions results, if your child doesn’t want to talk about it or seems closed off from discussing it, try gently bringing it up by asking questions. For example, you might say something like, “How did you feel about getting waitlisted from _______?”

Again, in these types of conversations, be sure to keep your own emotions in check and let your child lead the discussion—and also be sure to offer sympathy, support, and advice when your child needs it.

Recognize the positives

While it’s easy to focus on the negatives in these situations, it is important to keep things in perspective and celebrate every triumph during the tumultuous time that is admissions season.

Maybe your child got rejected from their first choice but was accepted to their second choice. Maybe they were only accepted to their safety school. Whatever the positives are, be sure to focus on them and let your child know how special you think they are.

You might even consider doing research about, say, a safety school and showing your child all the great programs/clubs/organizations they could participate in there. You might end up showing them how to look on the bright side and appreciate the options that are in front of them!

Talk about next steps

In situations where some factors are out of your control, it can be extremely helpful to make a plan and think about your next steps.

Sit down with your child and ask them what they plan to do. If it’s a waitlist, will they take the spot? If it’s a rejection, are there other college options? If your child hasn’t received any acceptances, have they considered alternative programs like a gap year/vocational school/service year/etc.?

Remember to be hopeful but realistic about your child’s options: in the case of planning, it might be a good idea to keep your expectations low but your head high. Making a plan with your child is also a good way to get them to open up and talk about their plans in a larger sense. Consider asking them about career paths they might be interested in as well as their larger hopes and dreams for the future!

Be sensitive & leave time to process

While you may want to jump ahead to the planning stage or simply power through this one small disappointment, remember to be sensitive to your child. Chances are, they might be feeling differently from you about their admissions results.

It is crucial that you allow your child (and yourself) time to process the disappointing news. This doesn’t mean that you must wallow in the negatives. Rather, you should allow time for the two of you to reflect and process the news.

Leaving time to process might mean acknowledging your disappointment from time to time. Sometimes one simply needs to be able to say “Well, this sucks!” and then move on. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes it’s simply not possible to move on overnight—and that’s okay!

Conclusion

There is no question that college admissions season is stressful and rejections are disappointing. Unfortunately, this will not be your child’s only time coping with disappointment in adult life, and the example that you set for them now might end up influencing them in the future. You should encourage your child to treat themselves kindly — emphasize self-care and sensitivity, while also encouraging communication, planning, and positive thinking.

Read more

Dealing with rejection from the top college of your choice

Should you take a gap year after high school?

What to do when your child is just not ready for college?

Parents, you know your kids better than anyone else. With this in mind, you likely have a strong sense of how they’ll probably fare in college. When they’re not ready, it can rightly be worrisome for its potential long-term negative impact.

A recent Hechinger Report seems to back up this assertion: Over 500,000 students in the 2014-15 academic year needed remedial coursework in college, and 96% of all colleges surveyed had to offer remediation of some kind to students. Remedial rates vary by state, and part of the problem connects to school quality. Remediation also isn’t the only indicator of stress and struggles, but it’s clear that a lot of students aren’t ready when they get to college.

Overwork and elevated expectations can have as negative an impact as under-preparedness. It’s challenging to find that balance between the two and give your student the exact right advice to enable success. Luckily, a few straightforward strategies can help no matter where your student falls on the spectrum of readiness.

Enable Your Child’s Autonomy As Much As You Can

Let’s break down this idea of power and powerlessness. A teenager isn’t an adult yet, and the prefrontal cortex (which powers decision-making and risk) isn’t fully developed. Teens also have fewer life experiences, and will need to rely on you — regardless of whether or not they think they do — to fill in the blanks for them.

It’s also important to remember that students in high school are exploring the notions of what it means to be an adult. As adults-in-training, students begin testing the waters to see what they like and don’t like and to distinguish themselves from their parents. This boundary-pushing might feel infuriating, but it’s pretty normal. Your job is to keep them safe, successful, and healthy.

The trick is to enable them, slowly and strategically, and understand their limitations. A student who gets homework done on time may no longer need a daily check-in about how school’s going, but be watchful to make sure grades don’t slip. A student desperate to get a driver’s license who has demonstrated the appropriate skill level can take the car, but only for small trips at first and not with friends until you feel it won’t cause distraction.

 Let’s break down this idea of power and powerlessness. A teenager isn’t an adult yet, and the prefrontal cortex (which powers decision-making and risk) isn’t fully developed. Teens also have fewer life experiences, and will need to rely on you — regardless of whether or not they think they do — to fill in the blanks for them.

It’s also important to remember that students in high school are exploring the notions of what it means to be an adult. As adults-in-training, students begin testing the waters to see what they like and don’t like and to distinguish themselves from their parents. This boundary-pushing might feel infuriating, but it’s pretty normal. Your job is to keep them safe, successful, and healthy.

The trick is to enable them, slowly and strategically, and understand their limitations. A student who gets homework done on time may no longer need a daily check-in about how school’s going, but be watchful to make sure grades don’t slip.

This also means that students will have to fail. You will have to provide them with enough leeway for them to try, experiment, make mistakes, and learn. Failure can get a bit of a bad rap; it’s treated like a unfixable consequence and one to avoid at all costs. Unfortunately but also fortunately, failure’s actually essential and the key to true life learning.

The situation with your teen will be ever-evolving, and you’ll need to adapt your rules accordingly. There’s a lot of worth in explaining to your student why you’re making your decisions and involving him or her in the decision-making process. The more you expect and encourage adult behavior, the more your teen will know what actions will lead to the greatest independence.

Giving your child good age-appropriate role models, who essentially say the same thing but have that key similarity in age, can also be helpful as you move along this path.

Be Ready to Listen (Even if It’s Not What You Want to Hear)

A child has fewer words and emotional skills to communicate feelings and impulses. Just as a baby cries because of hunger or fear, a student may use actions or imperfect language to tell you what’s really going on.

Take a student that isn’t trying in school. It’s actually pretty rare to find a truly unmotivated student. More likely, the culprit is fear, frustration, or lack of comprehension. Here, the concept of learned helplessness is a common problem. If students fail, especially in a very competitive academic environment in which a B will knock them out of the running for valedictorian or an academic prize, the blow can be crushing.

Without the life experience to know that failure happens sometimes — and often for reasons that are not in their control — students can begin to feel helpless around schoolwork in general and can even begin to catastrophize (thinking irrational negative thoughts about situations that don’t merit that level of anxiety).

Silence can also speak volumes. Without the words or feelings of security to speak up, students can internalize instead. In our high schools today and with the increasingly high requirements to get into college, overwhelming pressure is common. A student having trouble with this may begin to exhibit signs of stress, like a change in habits, sleeplessness, or generalized anxiety, and is probably turning inwards instead of speaking up about fears and expectations.

Students should feel safe to express themselves in a safe environment without fear of repercussion; if you’re not feeling like your support is enough, counselors and therapists have lots of techniques for your student (and you, if you’re interested) to acknowledge feelings and process them effectively.

As always, it’s about balance. If your student says he or she wants to change schools once, take that information in stride; it might just have been a bad day, and teens can sometimes be dramatic. But if a student tells you over and over that he or she needs to change schools, even when no concrete reason is provided, it’s important to listen and react.

A student may also feel afraid to offend you, especially if your expectations don’t match with each other. Just know that your student is not you — he or she has unique needs and what worked for you may look very different from what works for your student.

The ultimate goal is to empower teenagers to face adulthood head-on, with the right mix of confidence and humility to try, fail, learn, grow, and become adults. You are responsible for a major piece of this growth, but it isn’t totally in your hands either. The more you communicate and listen, the more your student will show you what you need to do to help along the way.

If you need help with undressanding how to vocabularize with your child, come have a chat with us

How to Help a Shy Child Excel in High School

As a parent, you know your child better than almost anyone, and it will be clear to you by the time high school rolls around if you have a child who’s particularly shy. Those high school students who are the most extroverted and confident may sometimes get more attention and praise for their accomplishments than those who are quieter, which may raise concerns for you as a parent.

A particular worry for many parents of shy kids is that shyness and its effects on a student’s academic and extracurricular careers will become a liability when it comes to college admissions. Shy high school students certainly face some special challenges, but these are far from insurmountable. As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to help, support, and guide your child as they work on gaining confidence, coming out of their shell, and putting themselves out there.

The Importance of Addressing Shyness

It’s not uncommon for high school students to be shy. Many young people struggle with skills like speaking up in a group or performing in public. Of course, this extends to adults as well — think about how many people profess to have a fear of public speaking.

Being shy, as a personal quality, isn’t in itself a deal breaker when it comes to your child’s ability to achieve their goals. In itself, the word “shy” can cover a broad range of feelings and behaviors. Some people are quieter, more introverted, less social, or less interested in certain social settings than others, simply as a matter of human variation, and these aren’t intrinsically negative qualities.

When shyness becomes a problem is when it gets in the way of the things a student needs to do to present themselves well, interact with important people, and otherwise progress towards their goals. If your child’s shyness is causing distress or concern in this way, it’s worthwhile to put some conscious work into addressing this problem.

For the college admissions process in particular, it’s essential that your child be able to “sell themselves” to the colleges in which they’re interested. Active self-promotion is necessary if admissions officers are to be able to see the full range of a student’s good qualities. They can’t take into account what your child doesn’t tell them.  

Below, we’ll go over a number of general dos and don’ts for you to consider as you dive into the project of helping your child manage their shyness. Every child is different, of course, and you absolutely should use your special insight into your child’s mindset and motivations to tailor your support to their needs. However, there are a number of general things that a parent can do (and not do) to try and help a shy teenager succeed.

Dos for Parents

Help Your Child To Help Themselves.

You can’t force your child to become less shy, and even if they’re trying, the process can be very difficult. Being confident and poised in public situations is something that needs to come from within, and requires that the student themselves take responsibility for learning the necessary skills.

As a parent, you can provide your child with resources, opportunities to learn important skills, and advice from your own experiences. Your end goal should be to support your child in their own process of gaining the capability and confidence they’ll need to be a successful college student.

Guide Your Child Toward Activities That Are A Good Match For Their Interests And Talents.

Sometimes, getting a child to come out of their shell is a matter of finding the right context. Activities that are particularly interesting to your child will give them the best opportunity to get personally invested, and thus the best chance to build confidence and become more comfortable interacting with others.

The same is true of activities that focus on areas where your child is already a strong performer. Your child’s inner confidence in their own abilities and achievements can really help them to become more comfortable interacting with others and presenting themselves in a positive way — something that’s a key skill for college admissions.

Encourage Your Child To Consider Activities That Will Explicitly Develop Their Communication And Presentation Skills.

Performative extracurriculars can be scary for shy kids, but they can also be a great way to purposefully work on skills that your shy student may find especially difficult to develop. These activities could include Speech and Debate, Model UN, theater, and many others.

Activities like these will let your child develop their skills in a structured way, often with the guidance of an experienced coach or advisor and the encouragement of the rest of the group. Some activities have a competitive element, which can also help — working to win awards or honors can be a powerful motivator.

Help Your Child To Accurately Assess Their Own Talents And Skill Level

A shy or introverted child might be especially prone to understating their own achievements. Your praise and encouragement can encourage your child to appreciate their own accomplishments, speak confidently about their areas of knowledge and experience, and regard competitive goals as worth pursuing. In particular, when it’s time to apply to college, don’t let your child sell themselves short.

Of course, no one wants their child to overestimate themselves or seem arrogant. That quality can itself damage your child’s ability to successfully and pleasantly interact with others, and it can also lead to inaccurate expectations come college admissions season. Keeping the right balance is key, and your experience as a parent will help you to determine how best to keep your student on the right track.

Consider Talking To A Professional If Your Child’s Shyness Is Significantly Impacting Their Life

If you’re especially worried or overwhelmed regarding your child’s shyness, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. A guidance counselor or other counseling professional’s education and experience can be very useful if shyness, social anxiety, or similar difficulties are having a significantly negative impact on your child’s life.

These professionals may be able to help you better understand the roots of your child’s social difficulties, as well as possible solutions. They can suggest concrete strategies and practices that may help your child to get more comfortable with public presentations, social interactions, and similar stressful situations.

Don’ts for parents

Don’t Do Too Much For Your Child

As a parent, it’s totally natural for you to feel the urge to swoop in and save the day when your child is struggling. However, in order for your child to grow into a more confident and capable person, you’re often going to need to resist this urge.

College life requires a lot of independence in students, and it’s better to start working on this skill early than to toss your child into an entirely new environment without preparation. In order for your child to truly “put themselves out there,” they’ll have to develop the ability to use these skills on their own.

On The Flip Side, Don’t Let Your Child Flounder Too Much If They’re Really Having Trouble

Fostering independence is a necessity, but at the same time, as a parent, you have to maintain a reasonable balance. Teenagers are still growing and developing, and they still need their parents, even if they’d rather not admit it sometimes.

You can provide resources, support, and reinforcement of good messages without necessarily doing things for your child. You can also check in with your child to determine whether they’re getting overwhelmed, and provide them with a safe, supportive space in which to talk about stressful situations and potential solutions. It’s up to you and your child to find a balance that works for you.

Don’t Expect Your Child To Become Someone They’re Not

Every person’s approach to social interactions and public presentations is different, and some people just don’t have a natural aptitude or liking for these situations. Shy, introverted, and reserved people have plenty of positive and useful attributes that can make them uniquely well-suited to certain life paths — there are niches in the world for all sorts of people.

Instead of trying to eradicate shyness or introversion as an aspect of your child’s personality, focus on building specific, concrete skills that your child can use in public situations. These skills can be taught and developed through practice and dedication.

For More Information

Shyness and introversion are common concerns for high school students and their parents, especially as college application season approaches. We have a parenting topic on our blog. Head on over to read that here

Parents: How To Help Your College-Bound Teen Study for the SAT or ACT

As your child starts thinking about college—and what he or she needs to do get there—one potentially anxiety-provoking hurdle to cross is standardized testing. Your child will probably take the SAT and/or ACT in their junior or senior year, and may be feeling stressed about it. So how can you help? Read on for EdBrand's strategies for supporting your college-bound teenager.

Know the Difference Between the Two Tests

Most colleges will accept scores from either the SAT or ACT. However, some schools may require additional tests, such as SAT Subject tests, along with the SAT and not the ACT. Your child should check with the schools on his or her list to see which tests are required.

While the purpose and content of the SAT and ACT are similar in that neither measures content-specific knowledge, the two tests have a few notable differences. Understanding these differences will help you better prepare your student.

The SAT is favored on the East and West Coasts and is comprised of three sections: Reading, Writing and Language, and Math. The ACT is more popular in the Midwest and includes four sections: English, Reading, Math, and Science Reasoning. Both tests offer an optional essay.

Along with the additional Science section, the ACT contains more questions, but allots less time for students to complete them. The optional essays differ as well. The SAT asks students to analyze a text and the author’s argument, while the ACT tasks students with analyzing an issue and developing a new argument. Essentially, the measured skills differ: reading comprehension for the SAT, and critical thinking for the ACT.

The test your child chooses to take should depend on his or her academic strengths and skillsets. 

Make a Timeline a Month Before the Test

Check the SAT or ACT schedule on respective collegeboard and ACT websites to figure out when your child will take the test for the first time. An independent self-starter will probably need less guidance, but you should still check in from time to time. If your child needs more structure and relies on you for instructions, you’ll probably want to make a schedule with him or her and offer routine reminders.

Start by doing a practice test. Your child will take the actual test, while you serve as the administrator. Based on the initial performance, determine areas that need more focus and attention. Then set up a timeline for practicing with realistic goals.

Be Encouraging and Supportive (not Overbearing or Intrusive)

Your child is transitioning into young adulthood. Understand that your role as caretaker is changing along with this transition.

Focus on offering guidance and support, rather than telling your child what to do. Bear in mind that these tests and their significance have changed considerably since you took them, so don’t assume that you necessarily know more about them than your child does.

However, if your child seeks out your advice, give it! Just do your research first so you know what you’re saying is accurate.

Take Care of Your Child’s Well-Being

As your child enters college season, he or she may be tempted to devote 24 hour a day to studying while neglecting health and wellness. You may need to remind him or her to take a break and avoid staying up late to cram. Not only will that not help, but it may even hurt test and academic performance, not to mention mental and physical health.

Relax 2-3 Days Before the Test

Practicing until the 11th hour isn’t going to improve your child’s performance. Instead, encourage him or her to relax by playing games and making a healthy meal. 

Find Great Resources

You don’t have to do it alone! There are plenty of resources to help your child with test-taking strategies. Contact us and we can provide you with some great tips and introduce you to our certified contacts. 

Parents: What to Do When Your Child Just Isn’t Living Up to Their Potential

There is obviously a big difference between intelligence and dedication, and sometimes, intelligent children learn early on that they can do well in school or other activities simply by coasting on their natural abilities rather than by working hard. It might be a helpful method in elementary or middle school, but by the time these students arrive at high school or college, it becomes clearer that this method isn’t going to put them on top. 

This isn’t always what happens to naturally brilliant children; students can have difficulty reaching their full potential for many different reasons. In any case, as a parent it can be extremely frustrating to watch. This post will try to offer advice and helpful insight. Read on for advice on dealing with a teenager who isn’t putting his or her full brain power to full use!

No Perfect Parenting Method(s)

Before we delve into the details, it is important to acknowledge that there are no perfect parenting methods—every parent and every child is different, and methods that work wonderfully for some might be totally useless for others. The good news is that you don’t need to limit yourself to just one method or course of action; you can try out many different things and see what works and what doesn’t. There may not be any perfect solution to help a child who is struggling with reaching their full potential, but with plenty of communication as well as trial and error, anything is possible.

Communication is Key

If you’re reading this, chances are you probably feel frustrated with your high schooler. Maybe you’re operating under time constraints (like college application deadlines) or maybe you’ve been worrying for a while that your teen will end up throwing their potential down the drain.

These are all very valid feelings, and it’s incredibly important to communicate under these circumstances. Talk to your teen about your concerns. To ease into this conversation, you may want to consider finding a jumping off point based off of something recent that’s happened. For example, rather than simply accusing your teen of not trying hard enough, you might say something like, “Hey, I know your SATs are in the next six months. Have you thought about taking any coaching classes?”

Make an effort to try and find out why your teen doesn’t feel as motivated as you think they should be. Maybe they’ve been distracted by something personal or maybe they’re intimidated by the competitive nature of their high school. Maybe they simply aren’t interested in their courses at school — whatever the reason, it’s important to at least gain some insight on the situation, and to let your teen know that you’re there to listen and troubleshoot, not just to criticize.

Try to have a two sided conversation with your teenager, again, you should be firm but not overly critical. You want to make sure that both you and your teen feel heard; you don’t want them to feel like you’re getting on their case for no reason. Make sure your teen knows that you aren’t pushing them towards success because you will only approve of them if they’re successful—you’re pushing them because you want them to become the best version of him/herself possible. You’re doing it because you love them and want the best for them. Be sure to stay on message: I love you and I want the best for you.

Put in the effort to try to see things from your teen’s perspective, too — you were young once, and while it may or may not be hard to remember how you felt when you were a student or a teenager, remember that your child’s experiences are just as real and valid as your own. Finally, be sure to check in with yourself and make sure that your expectations for your teen are realistic. It’s more than ok to want your child to do well and gain a competitive edge in life, but if your expectations are realistic. 

It’s a well-known trope for a reason: sometimes teenagers who are smart don’t always live up to their potential. 

There is obviously a big difference between intelligence and dedication, and sometimes, intelligent children learn early on that they can do well in school or other activities simply by coasting on their natural abilities rather than by working hard. It might be a helpful method in elementary or middle school, but by the time these students arrive at high school or college, it becomes clearer that this method isn’t going to put them on top. 

This isn’t always what happens to naturally brilliant children; students can have difficulty reaching their full potential for many different reasons. In any case, as a parent it can be extremely frustrating to watch. This post will try to offer advice and helpful insight. Read on for advice on dealing with a teenager who isn’t putting his or her full brain power to full use!

No Perfect Parenting Method(s)

Before we delve into the details, it is important to acknowledge that there are no perfect parenting methods—every parent and every child is different, and methods that work wonderfully for some might be totally useless for others. The good news is that you don’t need to limit yourself to just one method or course of action; you can try out many different things and see what works and what doesn’t. There may not be any perfect solution to help a child who is struggling with reaching their full potential, but with plenty of communication as well as trial and error, anything is possible.

Communication is Key

If you’re reading this, chances are you probably feel frustrated with your high schooler. Maybe you’re operating under time constraints (like college application deadlines) or maybe you’ve been worrying for a while that your teen will end up throwing their potential down the drain.

These are all very valid feelings, and it’s incredibly important to communicate under these circumstances. Talk to your teen about your concerns. To ease into this conversation, you may want to consider finding a jumping off point based off of something recent that’s happened. For example, rather than simply accusing your teen of not trying hard enough, you might say something like, “Hey, I see you’ve registered for all parallel classes next school year. Have you thought about taking any AP classes instead?”

Make an effort to try and find out why your teen doesn’t feel as motivated as you think they should be. Maybe they’ve been distracted by something personal or maybe they’re intimidated by the competitive nature of their high school. Maybe they simply aren’t interested in their courses at school — whatever the reason, it’s important to at least gain some insight on the situation, and to let your teen know that you’re there to listen and troubleshoot, not just to criticize.

Try to have a two sided conversation with your teenager, again, you should be firm but not overly critical. You want to make sure that both you and your teen feel heard; you don’t want them to feel like you’re getting on their case for no reason. Make sure your teen knows that you aren’t pushing them towards success because you will only approve of them if they’re successful—you’re pushing them because you want them to become the best version of him/herself possible. You’re doing it because you love them and want the best for them. Be sure to stay on message: I love you and I want the best for you.

Put in the effort to try to see things from your teen’s perspective, too — you were young once, and while it may or may not be hard to remember how you felt when you were a student or a teenager, remember that your child’s experiences are just as real and valid as your own. Finally, be sure to check in with yourself and make sure that your expectations for your teen are realistic. It’s more than ok to want your child to do well and gain a competitive edge in life, but if you’re expecting them to become the President of the United States or be working at a major law firm by age 15, it might be time to reevaluate.

Push, But Don’t Preach

In some cases, it might be a good idea to try and lightly push your teenager in the right direction. Maybe they’re unsure of what they want or what they’re good at, or maybe they truly just don’t know what kinds of opportunities are available for a smart high school student.

There’s no doubt that, in the end, your high schooler should be doing the work on their own. But if you want to provide that little extra push in order to get them started on an upward trajectory, you might think about printing out lists of extracurriculars, looking over their high school course catalogue with them, or sending them emails with compelling information you’ve found about colleges or summer programs.

If your child isn’t the best at time management or meeting deadlines, try checking in on their coursework from time to time. Again, you want to find a balance between offering to help your teen without becoming too overbearing or allowing them to take advantage of you. 

Try asking questions instead of giving orders. While you may want to say something like, “Your unit tests are next week and you’re going to be busy with the soccer tournament all weekend. You need to start your studying tonight, or else!”, but changing your approach to “I know you have that big maths unit test on Monday and you’re going to be busy with the soccer tournament all weekend. Do you have a plan to get your paper done in time?” might work better in terms of checking in with your child while still allowing them to have agency over their own work.

You should aim to encourage your high schooler to manage their schedule on their own and work on figuring out how to juggle multiple responsibilities and deadlines, especially since they’ll have to do this all on their own once they arrive at college.

Consider Incentives or Positive Reinforcement

Sometimes, incentives and positive reinforcement can be helpful motivators for students who need an extra push. Ultimately, you want your child to be internally motivated to do their best, but small rewards and reinforcements can help teach them that hard work ultimately pays off.

These incentives don’t need to be huge or costly. If your teen makes the honor roll or agrees to join a few extracurriculars, for example, in return you might consider taking them out to a meal at their favorite restaurant, letting them attend an upcoming concert, or allowing them to host a small party or get together at your house.

Remember to offer your teenager encouragement when they tell you about their recent wins, like getting a good grade or receiving positive feedback from a teacher — be sure to let them know how proud of their efforts and their hard work you are. 

Final Thoughts

It’s hard feeling like your brilliant child isn’t living up to his or her potential. While there is no perfect one-size-fits-all solution, two of the best things you can do in this situation are to communicate with your child and encourage them to work to achieve their full potential.  

If you find that you’re still having difficulty after trying all of these suggestions, you may also want to consider connecting your teen with a EdBrand student mentor. This year long program pairs high schoolers with older peers who will help them figure out their interests and solidify their leadership skills. Student mentors can also help students apply to college, manage their stress, and develop a sense of self-motivation!

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