Helping students and parents shift their focus—from external benchmarks of success to resilience and adaptability

It's that time of year again when I am grateful for the opportunity to catch up with past EdBrand students who are back for winter break. This morning, I met a final-year student from UCSD and asked: How does it feel to be graduating in less than six months? I was curious to see how his feelings about this significant milestone compared to when he graduated high school three years ago.

He shared something striking. "High school felt structured and safe. The next step—college—was clear, and I had time to figure things out. But now, with graduation looming, the stakes feel higher than ever. For the first time, there’s no structured path to follow, no cushion to fall back on. It’s exciting but also terrifying."

Despite excellent grades, leadership roles, and coveted internships, he confessed to feeling lost. He’s navigating a job market where competition is fierce. The pressure to meet high expectations—both his own and those of his peers, who seem to be launching into remarkable careers or prestigious graduate schools—is immense.

He described how, during high school the transition to college seemed natural, even comforting, because he knew there was still time to explore and "figure things out." But now, as he approaches the end of college, he feels a stark contrast.

I sympathized and explained that the tendency to tie self-worth to external achievements, a mindset that can distort our understanding of success, can leave one grappling with self-doubt and a feeling of almost paralyzing nervousness. It’s a stage of life where society’s focus shifts from "potential" to "performance," and the narratives of "figuring things out" are replaced by expectations to "have it all together."

This experience has inspired me to think about how I can better guide families through this process. By helping students and parents shift their focus—from external benchmarks of success to internal resilience and adaptability—I hope to empower them to face life’s transitions with more confidence and positivity. After all, the goal isn’t just to get into a great college but to navigate life with purpose and joy, no matter what lies ahead.

Growth Comes From Self-Reflection, Not Blame-Shifting

When I was in middle school, one of my teachers had a habit of returning graded exam papers and asking us to verify the total marks. What unfolded in class was always predictable. The overachievers would flock around the teacher, using this opportunity not just to double-check the math but to bargain for extra marks. For them, every fraction of a point mattered—it reinforced their identity as high performers. On the other hand, those labeled “average” or “weak” would quietly stash their papers away, uninterested in even verifying their marks, as if their grades were inevitable and unchangeable. These distinct behaviors reflected how we all live by self-imposed narratives.

Today, I met a student deeply upset over receiving a "B" in a college class, a deviation from her otherwise perfect academic record. She passionately explained how she had excelled in quizzes and assignments, yet her grade fell short due to the professor's emphasis on class participation—a criterion she hadn’t prioritized. The situation escalated to her seeking help from her parents to draft a grievance letter to the Dean, questioning the professor’s judgment and defending her academic merit.

This interaction left me reflecting on an important question: What are we teaching our students—and ourselves—about the role of challenges in shaping success? Why are we misguiding our own kids just to confine them in a false narrative that is fueled by societal expectations and crazy definitions of success. This student saw herself as the perfect achiever, and her parents reinforced this belief, seeing the “low” grade as an attack on her brilliance. When we take our stories too seriously, we lose perspective, trading inner freedom for stress and frustration.

The “B” was not a failure—it was feedback. And feedback is a gift, even if it doesn’t come wrapped in the shiny bow of an “A.” Through calm questioning, I encouraged her to consider the professor’s learning outcomes and the value of participation—a skill she admitted to overlooking.

Here’s a message to parents. Parents should be guides, and not fixers. Shielding students from discomfort teaches resistance to accountability. Growth comes from self-reflection, not blame-shifting!

Helping students and families see this truth can transform frustration into growth.

For parents who wish to leave no stone unturned

This morning at a breakfast meeting, I had an informal chat with parents of a fifth-grader (thankfully, without the student). They were already worried about her future, wondering if her current school was “good enough” to prepare her for admission to a top college. The school, mind you, has a proven track record of sending students to some of the most prestigious institutions worldwide. But that wasn’t enough to ease their doubts. They couldn’t shake the fear that they might be leaving some stone unturned.

As I listened, I realized that their concern wasn’t just about their daughter’s school; it was rooted in a much deeper anxiety that many parents share—a worry that the future won’t turn out as planned if they don’t control every step of the journey.

As we talked, I gently reminded them of this. “The school has a strong history,” I said, “The truth is that colleges don’t just look at the name of the school; they value the unique way a student engages with opportunities, grows through challenges, and demonstrates their individuality.”

Fifth grade is a precious time for curiosity, creativity, and playful learning. Life doesn’t get defined by something that will happen 7 years later! It’s happening now in every book she reads, every friendship she builds, every game she participates in, and every hobby she explores.

Parents often feel they must hurry through their child’s milestones, filling every moment with preparation and planning. But rushing doesn’t create success; it creates stress. As the discussion wound down, I could sense their perspective softening. They started to see that their daughter’s school wasn’t the problem. The real challenge was learning to trust the process and that actual growth in a student requires time, patience, and space for self-discovery.

Success is as much about how we grow as where we end up.

Are we nurturing children to thrive in the present, or are we rushing them toward a future we imagine for them?

Be a Rolls Royce, not a Mahindra Thar

I had the pleasure of meeting a young man who shared the most inspiring story of transformation. I was meeting him after 2 years and barely recognized him. As he spoke, I was struck by his determination to deal with teenage obesity. It’s rare to see someone take charge of their life with such a balance of passion and unwavering commitment. He expressed himself with such clarity and enthusiasm. I’m left inspired not just by the physical transformation he achieved but by the resolve with which he approached his journey. His story is a reminder of the power of self-discipline and the remarkable changes we can bring about when we prioritise and align our actions with our aspirations.

This is what he had shared with me (paraphrased):
A few years ago, I found myself stuck in a rut. I was overweight, out of shape, and deeply unhappy. Ironically, I was spending all my time trying to help others—being kind, supportive, and a quintessential “nice person”—believing that it would somehow compensate for the fact that I wasn’t taking care of myself. But deep down, I knew the truth: I wasn’t serving myself. My mind was a mess, and my body reflected that inner chaos.

The breaking point came two years ago at college when I had to give a business presentation to a group of CXOs from leading brands. These were sharp, well-dressed professionals who clearly understood the importance of presentation—not just in content but what it meant to have influence over audiences through their presence.

While my delivery and content were appreciated, I saw a recording of myself later, and it was hard to watch. There I was, wearing oversized clothes, looking like Hagrid in a black coat. My words were polished, but my appearance didn’t match the energy I wanted to project. It was a wake-up call: the way you dress is the way you are addressed.

That day, I made a decision. No more excuses. No more hiding behind personality or humor. I wanted to become a version of myself that I could be proud of.. I made a commitment to lose 30 kgs over 2.5 years. It wasn’t easy. There were no shortcuts, no magic pills—just deliberate, consistent effort. I painstakingly worked on my diet and exercise regimen, tackling one day at a time.
I realized something profound along the way: happiness isn’t just about external achievements or doing everything to make others happy. Sometimes, happiness begins with giving yourself good habits—acts of self-love that pave the way for real growth. It’s only then can we be ready to give more to the world.

Today, my friends laugh when I share my personal mantra:
“Be a Rolls Royce, not a Mahindra Thar.”
(For context, the Mahindra Thar is a budget version of a G-Wagon, and while it has horsepower, it’s not what I aspire to be!)

Making the Most of Your First Year in College: Discover, Explore, and Thrive

Entering college is an exciting and transformative phase in your life. It's a time when you have the freedom to shape your own experiences, meet new people, and explore a multitude of opportunities. In your first year, it's important to strike a balance between relaxation and embracing the many possibilities that college has to offer. By following a few key principles and adopting a proactive mindset, you can make the most of this crucial period and set a solid foundation for your future endeavors.

1. Embrace Relaxation and Fun: Your first year of college is a time to let go of the stress and pressure you may have experienced in high school. Take a moment to breathe and enjoy the new environment. Allow yourself to relax and have fun, creating a healthy work-life balance. This period of transition offers a unique opportunity to find joy in the present moment and make lasting memories.

2. Be Your Personal Best: College is a time for personal growth and self-discovery. Challenge yourself to be the best version of yourself academically, socially, and emotionally. Set goals, strive for excellence, and develop good habits that will contribute to your overall well-being. Remember that success looks different for everyone, so focus on your own progress rather than comparing yourself to others.

3. Expand Your Network: College is a melting pot of diverse individuals, each with their own unique backgrounds and interests. Use this opportunity to meet new people, make friends, and broaden your horizons. Attend campus events, join clubs or organizations aligned with your passions, and engage in conversations with classmates. Building a strong network will not only enhance your college experience but also open doors to new opportunities and perspectives.

4. Make Smart Decisions: As you navigate through your first year, it's crucial to make smart choices that align with your values and long-term goals. Take responsibility for your actions and prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Stay informed about campus resources, health services, and academic support systems that are available to assist you in making informed decisions.

5. Explore Career Paths and Personal Passions: While it's not expected to have your entire career mapped out in your first year, use this time to explore different academic disciplines, attend career fairs, and engage in internships or part-time jobs. Reflect on your passions and interests, and seek guidance from career counselors or mentors to help you find a path that excites you. Remember that your college journey is a process of self-discovery, and it's okay to change your mind along the way.

6. Embrace Risk-Taking and Adaptability: College is a fertile ground for personal growth, and that often comes through taking risks. Step out of your comfort zone, try new things, and be open to unexpected opportunities. Understand that not all risks will result in success, but view failures as valuable learning experiences. Embrace a mindset of adaptability, resilience, and continuous growth, and you'll develop the skills necessary to navigate the challenges of college and beyond.

7. Cultivate Patience: Finding your place in college takes time, and it's essential to practice patience throughout the process. Adjusting to a new environment, establishing meaningful connections, and discovering your niche on campus can take more than a few weeks or months. Give yourself at least two semesters or even two years to fully immerse yourself in the college experience and find your sense of belonging. Remember, comfort and familiarity are built over time.

8. Develop a Plan: To expedite the process of finding your place on campus, create a plan that includes three essential elements: Places, People, and Patience.

   1. a) Places: Research and identify clubs, organizations, athletic teams, or spiritual groups that align with your interests and values. Consider the activities you enjoyed in high school and seek out similar opportunities in college. By immersing yourself in places that resonate with your passions, you'll find like-minded individuals and create connections that can lead to friendships and personal growth.

      b) People: Build a support system by surrounding yourself with a diverse group of individuals who uplift and inspire you. Aim to have at least five people in your corner who share your goals and values. Seek out mentors, upperclassmen, or faculty members who can provide guidance and support throughout your college journey. Building meaningful relationships takes time and effort, so be proactive in initiating conversations and nurturing connections.

      c) Patience: Understand that finding your place in college is a process that requires patience. It may take time to adjust to the new environment and establish a sense of belonging. Embrace the uncomfortable moments and challenges as opportunities for growth. Give yourself permission to explore different activities and social circles, and be open to discovering unexpected interests and passions. Embracing patience allows you to fully experience the transformative nature of college life.

Why Honesty Matters in College

College is a transformative period in our lives, where we explore new horizons, forge lasting friendships, and gain valuable knowledge. However, amid the excitement and newfound independence, some students may be tempted to believe that they can engage in deceit, betrayal, manipulation, back-biting, and hypocrisy without facing consequences as long as they aren't caught. In this article, we will discuss the problems associated with such behavior and provide examples from college life's social, academic, and extra-curricular aspects to emphasize the importance of honesty and integrity.

In college, building a strong social network is crucial for personal growth and future opportunities. However, engaging in deceit, betrayal, or manipulation can severely damage your relationships. For instance, spreading false rumors or gossiping about others may give you a temporary sense of power, but it erodes trust and respect among your peers. When your friends discover your true intentions, the fallout can be devastating, leading to loneliness and isolation.

College is a time for intellectual growth and learning. However, resorting to dishonest practices such as plagiarism, cheating, or fabricating data in academic pursuits can have severe repercussions. Not only does it undermine the value of your education, but it also compromises your personal and professional integrity. If discovered, the consequences may range from failing grades, academic probation, or even expulsion. Moreover, the negative impact on your reputation can persist long after college and affect your future career prospects.

Engaging in extra-curricular activities can help you develop leadership skills, pursue your passions, and build meaningful connections. However, negative behavior such as back-biting or hypocrisy towards others involved in these activities can damage your reputation and impede personal growth. For example, if you backstab your fellow club members to gain a position of authority, it may lead to resentment and a lack of trust within the group. Professors or potential employers can also notice your unethical actions, which can significantly impact future opportunities.

It is important to realize that the consequences of deceptive behavior extend beyond college. Employers value integrity and ethical conduct, and dishonesty during your college years may come back to haunt you in the professional world. A reputation for deceit or manipulation can be difficult to overcome and may limit your career prospects. Furthermore, these negative traits can damage personal relationships and hinder your ability to form meaningful connections in the future. Maintaining a high standard of integrity in college will help you navigate the challenges of student life and shape your character for years to come.

Breaking Free from the Weight of Expectations

As high school graduates prepare for life at college, it is crucial to take a step back and critically examine the narrative that has shaped our lives.

In the journey toward college, many high school graduates are burdened by the weight of their own stories. From an early age, we absorb societal expectations and the desires of our parents, which become integral parts of our story. We are told who we should be, how we should act, what we should desire, and what we should fear. These ideas permeate our subconscious, shaping our decisions, self-perception, behavior, and aspirations. However, it is important to question whether these expectations truly align with our authentic selves and our individual passions and aspirations. This article will explore the consequences of taking our story too seriously and discuss how embracing authenticity can lead to a more fulfilling college experience and a sense of personal liberation.

Recognizing the influence of inherited expectations allows us to navigate life at college with greater clarity and purpose. Perhaps we have been conditioned to believe that success can only be achieved by pursuing a particular college major. By critically examining this belief, we may discover that our true passion lies in a different field that better aligns with our skills and values. With this newfound clarity, we can approach our academic choices at college with a sense of purpose, focusing on finding a major that supports our individual growth and nurtures our genuine interests rather than solely chasing external validation.

Taking our story too seriously often leads to a preoccupation with the past, filled with regrets and what-ifs. Engaging with college opportunities and dealing with challenges can be difficult if we are preoccupied with the past. This can hinder our ability to make new connections, explore diverse interests, and fully embrace our true identity. By letting go of the past and focusing on the present, we can create a more authentic college experience.

Another repercussions of taking our story too seriously is the pervasive fear it instills in us regarding the future. For instance, the fear of failure and the unknown can hold us back from participating in extracurricular activities or pursuing new opportunities, limiting our personal and professional development. By recognizing that our past does not predetermine our future, we can break free from these limitations, embrace uncertainty, and explore new paths of personal growth and fulfillment during our college journey.

Reclaiming our inner freedom means recognizing that we have the power to shape our own story, rather than being defined by external expectations. By cultivating self-awareness, exploring diverse interests, and prioritizing personal growth and self-discovery, we can forge a path that aligns with our passions and values. By acknowledging the influence of inherited expectations, letting go of past regrets, embracing the present, and facing the future with courage and curiosity, we can break free from the limitations of our own story. By doing so, we open ourselves up to a more authentic and fulfilling college experience that aligns with our true selves and enables personal growth and fulfillment.

How to overcome the fear of failure

Fear of failure, it's a weight we carry,

A constant worry that makes us wary.

We long for success and all its glory,

But the fear of losing is another story.

If we don't have it, we yearn and crave,

Our desires burning like a fiery blaze.

But once we have it, we hold on tight,

Fearful of losing what's in our sight.

And if we lose it, we're filled with sorrow,

Lamenting what we had, hoping for tomorrow.

Fear of failure can be a heavy load,

But it's important to remember, it's just a mode.

A mode of thinking that can hold us back,

But if we push through, we'll find our knack.

Success and failure are both part of the game,

And with perseverance, we'll rise to fame.

So let go of the fear and take a chance,

For greatness comes from taking that stance.

Embrace the journey, the ups and downs,

For in the end, it's the experience that astounds.

Fear can arise from a deep-seated desire or when we constantly think about achieving a particular outcome. When we strongly desire something, we can become afraid of not getting it. This fear can be particularly strong when we are trying to achieve something that is highly valued by our society or when we feel like our future success depends on achieving a particular outcome. Say, getting into a dream school.

We get stressed just thinking about people we might disappoint if we fail because we value their opinions and fear losing their respect or approval. It can be especially true in high-stress situations such as college admissions, where our performance is scrutinized and the stakes are high. This fear can cause us to second-guess ourselves and create a constant sense of pressure, making it challenging to perform at our best.

Social pressure and the need to maintain a particular image can be significant contributors to this fear. We may feel that our worth is tied to our achievements, and failure may mean that we are not good enough. This fear can be extreme when we feel like we are in competition with others, such as when we are trying to get into a highly competitive school or program.

When we constantly worry about the outcome, it can affect our mood. Our mood determines our sense of well-being. When things are not going as per plan, we feel sad. When we believe that things are going well, we feel happy. Most of the time, we are bewildered and question if we are doing the right thing to achieve the outcome.

One of the challenges of the fear of failure is that it can create a lot of stress and anxiety, which can actually make it harder to achieve our goals. When we are stressed, it can be harder to focus, and we may be more likely to make mistakes or become overwhelmed. This can create a negative cycle where our fear of failure actually increases the likelihood of failure.

Another challenge of the fear of failure is that it can be hard to shake off. Once we start to worry about failing, it can be hard to stop. This can lead to a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty as we question whether we are doing the right things to achieve our goals.

Despite these challenges, it's important to remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process. Nobody is perfect, and everyone experiences setbacks from time to time. However, it's also important to remember that setbacks can provide valuable opportunities for growth and development. As the saying goes, "Either we win, or we learn." When we experience failure, we can learn from our mistakes and use that knowledge to improve and become better. Another meaningful learning we can imbibe is that outcomes are never in our hands. By focusing on the process of achieving our goals rather than just the outcome, we can reduce the fear of failure and increase our chances of success.

Changes announced by ACT

The ACT recently made several important announcements. Make sure you've prepared well before you head to the test--not just content-wise but also logistically. Here are the important takeaways: 

1. Registration for the September 7-8 test window opens on Friday, July 20. Register as soon as you can--there is limited availability at testing centres, so make sure you get a slot!

2. Test takers taking the test will receive a whiteboard and marker, not scratch paper. One side of the whiteboard will have a grid on it and the other side will be blank.

3. By September 2018, nearly all international test-takers will have to take the test in a computer-based format. However, students who have 50% extra-time accommodations can request the paper-based exam instead of the computer-based one, if they so choose. Students with other accommodations must still take the paper exam. 

4. It will now cost $150 (around Rs 10,300) to take the ACT without Writing. It will cost $166.50 (Rs 11,500) to take the ACT with Writing. 

5. The choice of which testing dates to offer and which testing windows to offer (morning or afternoon) will be up to the individual test centres.Make sure you check the times and dates carefully!

6. As has been the case before, test takers can have their ACT scores sent automatically to up to four universities/colleges, free of charge. Students now must rank those universities in order of their preference, and the universities will see where they ranked on students' lists. 

Test Dates: ACT Deadlines for the Coming Months

ACT

September 7-8, 2018 // Register by August 10, 2018

October 26-27, 2018 // Register by September 28, 2018

December 7-8, 2018 // Register by November 2, 2018

February 8-9, 2019 // Register by January 11, 2019

April 12-13, 2019 // Register by March 8, 2019

(Late registration option available)

*For each of the two days within an ACT testing window, there will be morning and afternoon sessions offered. Session availability may vary by test center. Learn more about the changes coming to the ACT test at international test centers.

Test Dates: SAT and Subject Tests Deadlines for the Coming Months

New SAT I, Subject tests and ACT dates announced!

SAT I & Subject Tests

6th October 2018 // Register by 7th September 2018

1st December 2018 // Register by 2nd November 2018

9th March 2019 // Register by 8th February 2019

4th May 2019 // Register by 5th April 2019

* Make sure to check if the subject tests that you want to attempt are being conducted on the day you choose

Good luck with preparations, and on test day! 

EdBrand Happiness Survey

How happy are students with their colleges and EdBrand?

We recently conducted a small survey amongst our past students to understand how happy they were with their respective colleges and to analyse what they thought about our services. 

The brief results are illustrated below:

We strongly believe in working with students to get them to their Right-Fit College.

 

A Right-Fit college envisions a social and academic environment, which matches a particular student’s personality. This match implies a higher chance of growth and success for the student.

 

Based on feedback from our students, almost 93% of them believe that they are at a Right-Fit College.

Safety Colleges are the ones where a student is likely to get into without much effort. Match Colleges are where the student should get into if they realise their full potential while applying. Dream Colleges are where the students can potentially get into if they excel beyond their current capabilities.

Based on our feedback, almost 94% of our students got into either their Match College or their Dream College. 

 

This means that almost 94% of our students realised or enhanced their application potential, while working with us. 

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EdBrand Feedback: What do students think about our services?

These were the words used by students to describe their engagement with us. The most common description was “Engaging and Conversational,” with almost 80% of students using that term. The other important descriptions based on their frequency were: Empathetic, Care and Attention, Personal Development.