5 ways to help your child with rejection

During admission season, we all know what the last thing anyone wants to see is the infamous “thin letter.” There are many reasons why this document can be scary or stressful to receive, one of the most obvious being that it can indicate a rejection or a waitlisted status from a beloved school. While this let-down is difficult for you as the parent, it may be hard for you to imagine or understand how your child is feeling during this time — especially if they are reluctant to communicate with you.

So how do you come to better understand your child without making them feel like you are prying? And how can you best support them when things don’t turn out exactly in their favor? While this thin letter may feel final, it is important to remember that no matter what, there are always alternatives and always other plans that can be made. Keep reading for some tips and tricks on helping your student cope with a rejection or wait list letter!

Don’t panic

We know how you might be feeling right now: outraged, shocked, surprised, disappointed, upset. These are all really valid, after all, it’s a scary and stressful time! 

While it’s ok (and normal) to be feeling this way, it’s important to take your child’s perspective into account — if you’re panicked, imagine how they must be feeling. After all, it’s their future in question, not yours.  

It’s ok to for you to panic in private, but if you demonstrate that you’re very worried to your child, chances are you’ll make them even more worried, and no one needs that. Try venting to your friends, your spouse, and other adults that you trust, but try to manage your emotions in front of your child. 

It might help you to keep your feelings of panic in check by reminding yourself that there are always alternatives!

Be There to Listen

In the case of a rejection or a wait list, be sure to let your child take the lead. If they bring up the rejection/waitlist letter, then that probably means they are ready to talk about it!

Listen to how they feel and be sure not to overshadow these feelings with your own. After all, it’s your child’s future, not your own. Take the time to talk to your child about their options — are they waiting on other admissions results? Did your child apply to a safety school? How high up on their list was the school they were rejected/waitlisted from? If they were waitlisted, are they considering taking a spot on the list?

While your child should be taking the lead in these conversations about admissions results, if your child doesn’t want to talk about it or seems closed off from discussing it, try gently bringing it up by asking questions. For example, you might say something like, “How did you feel about getting waitlisted from _______?”

Again, in these types of conversations, be sure to keep your own emotions in check and let your child lead the discussion—and also be sure to offer sympathy, support, and advice when your child needs it.

Recognize the positives

While it’s easy to focus on the negatives in these situations, it is important to keep things in perspective and celebrate every triumph during the tumultuous time that is admissions season.

Maybe your child got rejected from their first choice but was accepted to their second choice. Maybe they were only accepted to their safety school. Whatever the positives are, be sure to focus on them and let your child know how special you think they are.

You might even consider doing research about, say, a safety school and showing your child all the great programs/clubs/organizations they could participate in there. You might end up showing them how to look on the bright side and appreciate the options that are in front of them!

Talk about next steps

In situations where some factors are out of your control, it can be extremely helpful to make a plan and think about your next steps.

Sit down with your child and ask them what they plan to do. If it’s a waitlist, will they take the spot? If it’s a rejection, are there other college options? If your child hasn’t received any acceptances, have they considered alternative programs like a gap year/vocational school/service year/etc.?

Remember to be hopeful but realistic about your child’s options: in the case of planning, it might be a good idea to keep your expectations low but your head high. Making a plan with your child is also a good way to get them to open up and talk about their plans in a larger sense. Consider asking them about career paths they might be interested in as well as their larger hopes and dreams for the future!

Be sensitive & leave time to process

While you may want to jump ahead to the planning stage or simply power through this one small disappointment, remember to be sensitive to your child. Chances are, they might be feeling differently from you about their admissions results.

It is crucial that you allow your child (and yourself) time to process the disappointing news. This doesn’t mean that you must wallow in the negatives. Rather, you should allow time for the two of you to reflect and process the news.

Leaving time to process might mean acknowledging your disappointment from time to time. Sometimes one simply needs to be able to say “Well, this sucks!” and then move on. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes it’s simply not possible to move on overnight—and that’s okay!

Conclusion

There is no question that college admissions season is stressful and rejections are disappointing. Unfortunately, this will not be your child’s only time coping with disappointment in adult life, and the example that you set for them now might end up influencing them in the future. You should encourage your child to treat themselves kindly — emphasize self-care and sensitivity, while also encouraging communication, planning, and positive thinking.

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Dealing with rejection from the top college of your choice

Should you take a gap year after high school?

Should you take a gap year after high school?

There are certain stereotypes that accompany the phrase “gap year”; in the minds of most, these words conjure up images of backpacking across Europe, Australian sabbaticals, and similarly exotic endeavours. Movies and TV shows have perpetuated the idea of gap years as one last carefree romp before the stress and intensity of college sets in. But these stereotypes are not necessarily an accurate reflection of what most gap years consist of. In this blog post, we’ll paint an honest picture of gap years and all the advantages and disadvantages they bring. With our guide, you can make an educated decision on whether to postpone heading off to college for a year or two.

What is a Gap Year?

Most students start college the fall after they graduate high school. However, some choose to take a gap year, meaning they wait a year and start college the following fall. There are myriad reasons one might take a gap year: finances, travel, family concerns, personal health, and many more. Taking a gap year doesn’t rob you of any rights or privileges you may have enjoyed had you started college directly after high school; essentially, the only thing that changes is your year of graduation.

The Benefits of Taking a Gap Year

There are myriad reasons to postpone starting college directly after high school.

1. Financial reasons often compel students to take a gap year. If you anticipate a change in your family’s financial situation that would significantly increase your financial aid award, or take your extra year to work and save money, it can go a long way in making your education more affordable. Some students even take a gap year because they’ve been offered a unique employment opportunity that they won’t be able to accept later in their educational career.
2. Health. Another reason to take an extra year between high school and college is your or a family member’s health. If you have chronic health concerns, taking a gap year can allow you to learn how to best manage your illness or recover without the stress of moving and classes. If a family member is ill, taking the year off to spend time with or serve as an aid to them is also a common decision.
3. Personal Circumstances. There are also many personal reasons that one might choose to take a gap year separate from immediate, necessary concerns like finances or illness. Many students do choose to travel in the year before they start school, as once they’ve started studying, their summers are likely to be filled with work or internships. This travel isn’t always purely recreational, either; students can apply for grants to conduct research at home or abroad.
4. Pursuing Interests. Gap years can also be a great time to devote yourself to volunteering, finally finish your list of books to read, or thoroughly reflect upon your personal and career goals. Usually, students have very little free time in high school to pursue pursuits other than academics or their extracurriculars, and those who take a gap year have a chance to explore their interests to a degree that wouldn’t be possible while in high school and probably wouldn’t be possible in college, either. For those who are unsure about their major or career path, gap years afford an excellent opportunity to carefully consider and create an academic and professional plan.
5. Burnout/Buffer Year. Some students choose to take a gap year even if they don’t fall into any of the above categories; the period between high school and college marks a major transition and a huge increase in responsibility, and there are students that just prefer to enjoy another year of freedom. Most, if not all colleges will allow you to postpone your first semester by one or sometimes two years if you choose without having to worry about reapplying. Many high school students, especially those who are ultra-competitive, feel burnt-out after high school. Four years of rigorous studies, sports teams, academic competitions, and college applications take a toll, and some can seriously benefit from taking a year to decompress. If you feel you’d benefit from another year or two to mature, learn, and explore without the pressure of a competitive university environment, you might benefit from taking a gap year.

The Disadvantages of Taking a Gap Year

Despite the many advantages that a gap year can bring, there are also several significant disadvantages. Many students who take a gap year struggle with the feeling that they’re being “left behind” as many of their friends go off to start school. This feeling can persist until graduation, when all their former classmates graduate but these students still have another year in school. Unless you feel very confident and secure in your decision to take a year off from school, you may experience some degree of alienation from your high school classmates.

Furthermore, waiting an extra year before starting school means that unless you were already among the youngest in your class, you will be a year or two older than most of the students in your grade and your classes, at least your first year. This can further exacerbate feelings of alienation, as your peers are largely of a different age group. However, many students who take a gap year feel that any sense of detachment from their classmates they may experience would be outweighed by the benefits of taking a year off. In addition, being 19 in a group full of 18 year olds isn’t necessarily a big deal; differences are more pronounced for students who have taken several years off.

While many students take gap years for financial reasons, there are also financial arguments against taking a gap year. The cost of college tuition is increasing at an astronomical rate; the University of California system, for example, has laid forth a plan for 5% increases in tuition each year. If you’re attending a school that is offering you no or little financial aid, you may end up paying more, as the longer you wait, the higher tuition grows.

Finally, many students who take a gap year, especially those postponing matriculation at top schools, have been go-getters their whole lives. After four years of high school that probably included countless AP classes, participation on several athletic and academic teams, and hours upon hours of community service, the idea of taking an entire year off (especially if they don’t have any concrete plans for travel, work, or studying) can be unchallenging to a frustrating degree. If you’re the sort of student that performs best with a jam-packed schedule, taking a gap year may not be the best choice.

Though taking a gap year can be frustrating for students who would rather start school immediately but can’t due to personal circumstances, it’s important to remember that taking a gap year has a negligible effect on your life as a student once you start school. Other than the difference in age, you’ll face all the challenges and enjoy all the privileges that other freshmen do, and if you’ve used your time off productively, prospective employers are unlikely to mind. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to take a gap year should be made on a case-by-case basis. Students who consider taking a year off should carefully evaluate the pros and cons of each decision, and consider not only the immediate, but long-term consequences of the decision. Though there is pressure for students to attend college directly after high school, it’s most important that students carefully weigh their options to make an informed decision that’s best for them.

Read more

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3 things you should be doing this summer

If there’s one tip about college admissions that we’ve always known, it’s that you shouldn’t spend high school summers imprinting into the couch. As much as we’d all like to spend some quality time on Netflix, colleges won’t be impressed by several three month internships at Couch Potato, LLC. To help you make the most out of the upcoming summer, we’ve included a few interesting and impressive options for you to consider. We’ve organized this list in order of decreasing impressiveness to colleges.

Summer Programs

This is likely the most fun way to spend your summer, and the easiest way to do something without really working too much. In general, colleges prefer to see students attend summer programs that are tuition-free, because the only thing that attending an expensive camp says about an applicant is that he or she can afford to pay. There are many types of summer programs to choose from:

• Prestigious Camps: If you want to go see a new country and see what it would be like to study in some of the world’s greatest universities. MIT and Harvard, both have great tech programs, whereas University of Pennsylvania is great for medicine and biology. Stanford has one of the most popular summer programs with a strong computer science camp and its proximity to Silicon Valley A full list of programs however can be found on the IACAC page.
•  Extracurricular Development: Don’t want to invest into traveling 9,000 miles? That’s totally fine! There are probably a lot of camps in your city that you not even be aware of. Debate camp, band camp, sports camps, and drawing camps are only a few such options. These summer-long excursions will allow you to do something you really enjoy while also learning during the summer, and you’ll be better prepared for the year following. Start with a basic Google search for whatever type of camp you are looking for. If you live in Delhi, Calcutta, Mumbai, Bangalore, Singapore, or Jakarta — contact us and we might have the connections you might need! 

Internships

If you want to intern, you should start looking for a position before winter break of class 11. Because you don’t have a college degree, anticipate receiving a few rejections before you find something you like. Persistence will pay off – even companies that don’t have intern programs may take you on if they are impressed.

As a general rule, the first email you send should already have your resume attached to it. In the body of the email, don’t ask if they have vacant positions. Instead, just ask for the opportunity to interview. It’s best to also include one or two reasons why, even as a high schooler, you will be an asset. If you do get an interview, you should work to really “wow” them. Practice answering interview questions diligently, and make sure that you have researched the institution thoroughly. You probably aren’t the ideal candidate based on academic qualifications, so you have to be the best based on your hard-working character – if there isn’t an internship program already, you have to make them want to create a position for you!

• Lab assistance – if you are science, math, or tech-oriented, labs are the best place to work. Start off by asking your STEM teachers to see if they know of any opportunities. Try emailing professors at nearby universities – a community college and state school would be appropriate. Mention the search to your friends to see if anyone has a parent who needs lab assistance. And finally, if none of these options work, send emails to multiple local labs and nearby graduate school research programs. If you have done any prior research in the same field as the labs you are looking to work in, consider attaching both a letter of recommendation from your first mentor and your resume on the first email. If the research was particularly impressive, be sure to reference it extensively in the body of the email and in a potential interview.
• Humanities internships – if you are looking at law, business, communications, etc., it may be slightly harder to find a position. Any service-oriented companies, such as financial advising agencies, often have a lot of sensitive information about clients that you can’t work with. Try applying for internships that are government sponsored – the public defender’s office or the governor’s office, for example. Send emails to companies that you’d be interested in working for, asking for the opportunity to do any kind of work, whether it be scanning or otherwise. Make it very clear that you don’t have expectations, and that you are looking mostly for the opportunity to learn through observation.

Projects

One of the most important things about college admissions is to showcase how you are different than the sea of other college aspirants. While a lot of students learn through camps, we at EdBrand have found success in helping students create special projects. Through our Bespoke Research Program Research intensive projects that help them learn new skills, reapply skills they already know, and most importantly learn something new about themselves. Inquisitive to know what our students have done? Here’s a list of projects from 2017! If you want to know more, come for a chat and firm up those summer plans! 

Summer is a great time to explore new topics and extracurriculars or to supplement your existing knowledge and interests. Make sure that, even while going to class or work, you take advantage of the time off and really enjoy your time before college. Choose an option that you find fun, and be creative when coming up with other, unique summer plans.

Tips for Writing A Letter of Continued Interest

For students who are waitlisted or deferred from a top-choice college, the application process can seem frustrating or even discouraging. If you have a received a letter placing you on the waitlist or deferring your early admissions application, you are probably feeling some combination of disappointment and impatience.

While you may be feeling powerless, rest assured that there is something you can do during the interim to improve your chances of being accepted.

What Is a Letter of Continued Interest?

If you’ve been waitlisted or deferred, this generally indicates a few things about you as an applicant. First, the good news—the college thinks you’re worth a shot. They believe that you might be a strong candidate. Of course, this doesn’t come without a caveat. Generally, if you’re on the waitlist, the admissions committee is just not entirely convinced that you’re going to be a positive contribution to the incoming class. While they recognize your potential, they had more qualified or compelling candidates, and until they hear back from them, they just aren’t certain they have a place for you.

A letter of continued interest is exactly what it sounds like. It lets the college know that you are definitely still interested in attending, even if you have to wait longer to find out. It also updates the college of any achievements you’ve accomplished since your original application and hopefully convinces them that you will indeed be a positive contributor to the freshman class.

What Do Colleges Want to Know About Students Who Have Been Waitlisted or Deferred?

In general, there are two pieces of information that can help to tip the scale in your favor. Think of it this way—colleges want to fill their freshman class with highly qualified, successful students. To do this, they need to cast a net that’s both wide enough to fill the class, yet fine enough to select only the students who will be truly successful. It’s a careful balance.

So, these colleges generally want to know two things about you. First, are you capable of succeeding at the school in question, and second, will you attend if you are offered a spot?

What To Include In a Letter of Continued Interest

Your letter of continued interest should answer these two questions in a way that is affable and genuine. It should also express gratitude for being offered a place on the waitlist or a deferred decision, because this serves as evidence of positive personality traits, like perseverance and the ability to rise above adversity.

What NOT To Include In a Letter of Continued Interest

We get it; you’re probably feeling frustrated and disappointed. Maybe you feel inadequate or powerless. Talking to friends and family, venting to your peers, or taking it out on the athletic field are all great ways to express these totally valid emotions.

The letter of continued interest is not the place for these feelings, though. Keep your focus on the positives and don’t let any of those negative feelings show through in your letter.

The general outline for a letter of continued interest is as follows:

Introduction

In your introduction you should thank the admissions committee for reviewing your application and let them know that you are still interested in attending.

Updates On Accomplishments

Here, you’ll provide information about your accomplishments since your original application. Do not repeat accomplishments or any information already on your application—the admissions committee already has this information and if you submit it again, it will look like you haven’t achieved anything since. Limit your updates to 2-3 topics and be sure to explain briefly what the update is, what level of accomplishment it illustrates, and how it has contributed to your overall character/development.

Personal Element

This conclusion should offer some insight into your personality and provide a humanizing factor that sets you apart from the rest of the waitlist pool.

Humble Closing

Here, you reiterate your desire to attend the school and your gratitude to the admissions committee for their time and for taking a chance on you.

What to do when your child is just not ready for college?

Parents, you know your kids better than anyone else. With this in mind, you likely have a strong sense of how they’ll probably fare in college. When they’re not ready, it can rightly be worrisome for its potential long-term negative impact.

A recent Hechinger Report seems to back up this assertion: Over 500,000 students in the 2014-15 academic year needed remedial coursework in college, and 96% of all colleges surveyed had to offer remediation of some kind to students. Remedial rates vary by state, and part of the problem connects to school quality. Remediation also isn’t the only indicator of stress and struggles, but it’s clear that a lot of students aren’t ready when they get to college.

Overwork and elevated expectations can have as negative an impact as under-preparedness. It’s challenging to find that balance between the two and give your student the exact right advice to enable success. Luckily, a few straightforward strategies can help no matter where your student falls on the spectrum of readiness.

Enable Your Child’s Autonomy As Much As You Can

Let’s break down this idea of power and powerlessness. A teenager isn’t an adult yet, and the prefrontal cortex (which powers decision-making and risk) isn’t fully developed. Teens also have fewer life experiences, and will need to rely on you — regardless of whether or not they think they do — to fill in the blanks for them.

It’s also important to remember that students in high school are exploring the notions of what it means to be an adult. As adults-in-training, students begin testing the waters to see what they like and don’t like and to distinguish themselves from their parents. This boundary-pushing might feel infuriating, but it’s pretty normal. Your job is to keep them safe, successful, and healthy.

The trick is to enable them, slowly and strategically, and understand their limitations. A student who gets homework done on time may no longer need a daily check-in about how school’s going, but be watchful to make sure grades don’t slip. A student desperate to get a driver’s license who has demonstrated the appropriate skill level can take the car, but only for small trips at first and not with friends until you feel it won’t cause distraction.

 Let’s break down this idea of power and powerlessness. A teenager isn’t an adult yet, and the prefrontal cortex (which powers decision-making and risk) isn’t fully developed. Teens also have fewer life experiences, and will need to rely on you — regardless of whether or not they think they do — to fill in the blanks for them.

It’s also important to remember that students in high school are exploring the notions of what it means to be an adult. As adults-in-training, students begin testing the waters to see what they like and don’t like and to distinguish themselves from their parents. This boundary-pushing might feel infuriating, but it’s pretty normal. Your job is to keep them safe, successful, and healthy.

The trick is to enable them, slowly and strategically, and understand their limitations. A student who gets homework done on time may no longer need a daily check-in about how school’s going, but be watchful to make sure grades don’t slip.

This also means that students will have to fail. You will have to provide them with enough leeway for them to try, experiment, make mistakes, and learn. Failure can get a bit of a bad rap; it’s treated like a unfixable consequence and one to avoid at all costs. Unfortunately but also fortunately, failure’s actually essential and the key to true life learning.

The situation with your teen will be ever-evolving, and you’ll need to adapt your rules accordingly. There’s a lot of worth in explaining to your student why you’re making your decisions and involving him or her in the decision-making process. The more you expect and encourage adult behavior, the more your teen will know what actions will lead to the greatest independence.

Giving your child good age-appropriate role models, who essentially say the same thing but have that key similarity in age, can also be helpful as you move along this path.

Be Ready to Listen (Even if It’s Not What You Want to Hear)

A child has fewer words and emotional skills to communicate feelings and impulses. Just as a baby cries because of hunger or fear, a student may use actions or imperfect language to tell you what’s really going on.

Take a student that isn’t trying in school. It’s actually pretty rare to find a truly unmotivated student. More likely, the culprit is fear, frustration, or lack of comprehension. Here, the concept of learned helplessness is a common problem. If students fail, especially in a very competitive academic environment in which a B will knock them out of the running for valedictorian or an academic prize, the blow can be crushing.

Without the life experience to know that failure happens sometimes — and often for reasons that are not in their control — students can begin to feel helpless around schoolwork in general and can even begin to catastrophize (thinking irrational negative thoughts about situations that don’t merit that level of anxiety).

Silence can also speak volumes. Without the words or feelings of security to speak up, students can internalize instead. In our high schools today and with the increasingly high requirements to get into college, overwhelming pressure is common. A student having trouble with this may begin to exhibit signs of stress, like a change in habits, sleeplessness, or generalized anxiety, and is probably turning inwards instead of speaking up about fears and expectations.

Students should feel safe to express themselves in a safe environment without fear of repercussion; if you’re not feeling like your support is enough, counselors and therapists have lots of techniques for your student (and you, if you’re interested) to acknowledge feelings and process them effectively.

As always, it’s about balance. If your student says he or she wants to change schools once, take that information in stride; it might just have been a bad day, and teens can sometimes be dramatic. But if a student tells you over and over that he or she needs to change schools, even when no concrete reason is provided, it’s important to listen and react.

A student may also feel afraid to offend you, especially if your expectations don’t match with each other. Just know that your student is not you — he or she has unique needs and what worked for you may look very different from what works for your student.

The ultimate goal is to empower teenagers to face adulthood head-on, with the right mix of confidence and humility to try, fail, learn, grow, and become adults. You are responsible for a major piece of this growth, but it isn’t totally in your hands either. The more you communicate and listen, the more your student will show you what you need to do to help along the way.

If you need help with undressanding how to vocabularize with your child, come have a chat with us

Plan your life! A guide to using calendars

Staying organized is a critical skill to develop and maintain during high school. As your workload increases and your responsibilities begin to add up, it’s important that you keep track of all your commitments. This isn’t always an easy task. As you near senior year, you’ll have to balance school assignments, exams,  standardized tests, scholarship and college application deadlines, and extracurricular commitments. This can sometimes turn into a real juggling act, especially towards the end of the school year with finals and the penultimate board exams. 

If you want to ensure that you’re prepared for the work ahead and that you don’t drop any of the important balls you’ve got in the air, you’ll need to come up with a foolproof organization system. This means using your time wisely, developing stress management techniques, and, of course, staying organized.

One critical key to your organization should be the use of a planner or calendar. Using a planner or calendar will help you to visualize the many commitments you have made and will also aid you in keeping track of them. Having a visual reminder of what is happening when can also deter you from biting off more than you can chew.

There are many different systems for using these important tools, but ultimately how you maximize your use of them will be up to your personal preferences. In this post, we’ll outline the benefits of using various calendar systems, the various methods you might employ in using them, and the types of things you should include on your calendar. To learn more about how using a calendar or planner can help you to stay organized and on track even during the busiest of times, read on.

Benefits of Online Calendars

One type of calendar to consider using is an online calendar. This type of calendar can generally be accessed as an app or through a website, and it is generally a very popular choice for high school students and professionals alike.

Major benefits are: 

1. It can be shared across devices: Once you add something to the calendar on your phone, it will automatically sync so that the event shows up on your computer, tablet, or any other device you might access it from
2. Multiple calendars: Online calendars also allow you to overlay different calendars onto the same template. This way, you can add events for an extracurricular calendar, school assignments calendar, college applications calendar, and more
3. Easily shareable: You can add other users to your calendar and choose what type of access each has, including whether they can edit the calendar themselves or just view what you have added to it. This way, you can add your parents or mentors to your calendar
4. Active notifications: You can set a notification to alert you at a set time before a scheduled event takes place, or you can set a daily alert to update you with that day’s agenda. These alerts can be synced directly to your phone so that you’re sure not to miss them, even on a busy day.

Online calendars are a very popular choice due to the ease with which you can access and coordinate with others through them. Being able to filter your view and access all events from all your devices is certainly a major advantage.

Benefits of Physical Planners or Calendars

Of course, online calendars and planners aren’t the only option available. Sometimes, you might find that a physical planner or calendar is a better choice for you.

Major benefits are: 

1. Multiple kinds of formats: Physical planners or calendars exist in nearly every format imaginable. You might have one that shows one day per page, or you might have one that shows an entire month. If you can’t find the template you prefer at an office supply store or for purchase online, it is fairly easy to make your own using a slim three-ring binder and a hole punch. Simply create your own template exactly how you want it using Microsoft Excel and run off enough copies to last for the year, or find a blank template online that you can print yourself.
2. Can be accessed anywhere: physical planner can be accessed anywhere, including during classes when phones or other devices are not allowed. You can use your planner as an assignment book, bringing it along with you to every class and adding assignments or other important commitments immediately as they arise. Generally, phones or other devices are often not allowed to be used in the classroom, so if you are using a virtual calendar, you’ll need to wait until after class to add important assignments. A physical planner allows you to enter these important deadlines immediately 
3. Helps you remember better: a physical planner requires that you handwrite each commitment. While this might not seem like a big deal, studies show that that students who write their notes by hand are more likely to commit them to memory than students who type notes during a lecture. If the same theory is carried over to a calendar, then it would stand to reason that students who hand-write their commitments into a physical planner may be more likely to remember them independently than students who type them into an online calendar.   

Best Calendar Programs

Google Calendar. Google Calendar is one way to keep track of important dates, deadlines, and events. It syncs across devices and is easily shareable with others, so you can keep your family and friends informed as well. It also allows you to set alerts or notifications to make sure you don’t forget important deadlines.

Microsoft Outlook. Microsoft Outlook Calendar is another popular choice. It includes many of the same options as Google Calendar, and also allows you to set recurring events, for example on the first weekday or first weekend of the month. One drawback of MS Outlook is that it only allows you to schedule reminders two weeks in advance of events.

iCal. iCal is another solid option, not particularly dissimilar to Microsoft Outlook or Google Calendar. If you are already an iOS user, though, you might find iCal more convenient since it is the default calendar app included with your Apple devices. Additionally, when you are signed into your iCloud account, it will automatically sync across all devices associated with that account.

We hope this helps. If you use a calendar, comment below of what you use and if you don’t, then tell us what you might use! 

How to Help a Shy Child Excel in High School

As a parent, you know your child better than almost anyone, and it will be clear to you by the time high school rolls around if you have a child who’s particularly shy. Those high school students who are the most extroverted and confident may sometimes get more attention and praise for their accomplishments than those who are quieter, which may raise concerns for you as a parent.

A particular worry for many parents of shy kids is that shyness and its effects on a student’s academic and extracurricular careers will become a liability when it comes to college admissions. Shy high school students certainly face some special challenges, but these are far from insurmountable. As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to help, support, and guide your child as they work on gaining confidence, coming out of their shell, and putting themselves out there.

The Importance of Addressing Shyness

It’s not uncommon for high school students to be shy. Many young people struggle with skills like speaking up in a group or performing in public. Of course, this extends to adults as well — think about how many people profess to have a fear of public speaking.

Being shy, as a personal quality, isn’t in itself a deal breaker when it comes to your child’s ability to achieve their goals. In itself, the word “shy” can cover a broad range of feelings and behaviors. Some people are quieter, more introverted, less social, or less interested in certain social settings than others, simply as a matter of human variation, and these aren’t intrinsically negative qualities.

When shyness becomes a problem is when it gets in the way of the things a student needs to do to present themselves well, interact with important people, and otherwise progress towards their goals. If your child’s shyness is causing distress or concern in this way, it’s worthwhile to put some conscious work into addressing this problem.

For the college admissions process in particular, it’s essential that your child be able to “sell themselves” to the colleges in which they’re interested. Active self-promotion is necessary if admissions officers are to be able to see the full range of a student’s good qualities. They can’t take into account what your child doesn’t tell them.  

Below, we’ll go over a number of general dos and don’ts for you to consider as you dive into the project of helping your child manage their shyness. Every child is different, of course, and you absolutely should use your special insight into your child’s mindset and motivations to tailor your support to their needs. However, there are a number of general things that a parent can do (and not do) to try and help a shy teenager succeed.

Dos for Parents

Help Your Child To Help Themselves.

You can’t force your child to become less shy, and even if they’re trying, the process can be very difficult. Being confident and poised in public situations is something that needs to come from within, and requires that the student themselves take responsibility for learning the necessary skills.

As a parent, you can provide your child with resources, opportunities to learn important skills, and advice from your own experiences. Your end goal should be to support your child in their own process of gaining the capability and confidence they’ll need to be a successful college student.

Guide Your Child Toward Activities That Are A Good Match For Their Interests And Talents.

Sometimes, getting a child to come out of their shell is a matter of finding the right context. Activities that are particularly interesting to your child will give them the best opportunity to get personally invested, and thus the best chance to build confidence and become more comfortable interacting with others.

The same is true of activities that focus on areas where your child is already a strong performer. Your child’s inner confidence in their own abilities and achievements can really help them to become more comfortable interacting with others and presenting themselves in a positive way — something that’s a key skill for college admissions.

Encourage Your Child To Consider Activities That Will Explicitly Develop Their Communication And Presentation Skills.

Performative extracurriculars can be scary for shy kids, but they can also be a great way to purposefully work on skills that your shy student may find especially difficult to develop. These activities could include Speech and Debate, Model UN, theater, and many others.

Activities like these will let your child develop their skills in a structured way, often with the guidance of an experienced coach or advisor and the encouragement of the rest of the group. Some activities have a competitive element, which can also help — working to win awards or honors can be a powerful motivator.

Help Your Child To Accurately Assess Their Own Talents And Skill Level

A shy or introverted child might be especially prone to understating their own achievements. Your praise and encouragement can encourage your child to appreciate their own accomplishments, speak confidently about their areas of knowledge and experience, and regard competitive goals as worth pursuing. In particular, when it’s time to apply to college, don’t let your child sell themselves short.

Of course, no one wants their child to overestimate themselves or seem arrogant. That quality can itself damage your child’s ability to successfully and pleasantly interact with others, and it can also lead to inaccurate expectations come college admissions season. Keeping the right balance is key, and your experience as a parent will help you to determine how best to keep your student on the right track.

Consider Talking To A Professional If Your Child’s Shyness Is Significantly Impacting Their Life

If you’re especially worried or overwhelmed regarding your child’s shyness, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. A guidance counselor or other counseling professional’s education and experience can be very useful if shyness, social anxiety, or similar difficulties are having a significantly negative impact on your child’s life.

These professionals may be able to help you better understand the roots of your child’s social difficulties, as well as possible solutions. They can suggest concrete strategies and practices that may help your child to get more comfortable with public presentations, social interactions, and similar stressful situations.

Don’ts for parents

Don’t Do Too Much For Your Child

As a parent, it’s totally natural for you to feel the urge to swoop in and save the day when your child is struggling. However, in order for your child to grow into a more confident and capable person, you’re often going to need to resist this urge.

College life requires a lot of independence in students, and it’s better to start working on this skill early than to toss your child into an entirely new environment without preparation. In order for your child to truly “put themselves out there,” they’ll have to develop the ability to use these skills on their own.

On The Flip Side, Don’t Let Your Child Flounder Too Much If They’re Really Having Trouble

Fostering independence is a necessity, but at the same time, as a parent, you have to maintain a reasonable balance. Teenagers are still growing and developing, and they still need their parents, even if they’d rather not admit it sometimes.

You can provide resources, support, and reinforcement of good messages without necessarily doing things for your child. You can also check in with your child to determine whether they’re getting overwhelmed, and provide them with a safe, supportive space in which to talk about stressful situations and potential solutions. It’s up to you and your child to find a balance that works for you.

Don’t Expect Your Child To Become Someone They’re Not

Every person’s approach to social interactions and public presentations is different, and some people just don’t have a natural aptitude or liking for these situations. Shy, introverted, and reserved people have plenty of positive and useful attributes that can make them uniquely well-suited to certain life paths — there are niches in the world for all sorts of people.

Instead of trying to eradicate shyness or introversion as an aspect of your child’s personality, focus on building specific, concrete skills that your child can use in public situations. These skills can be taught and developed through practice and dedication.

For More Information

Shyness and introversion are common concerns for high school students and their parents, especially as college application season approaches. We have a parenting topic on our blog. Head on over to read that here

4 things you can do today to prepare for college

After all the work and stress of the college application process, actually starting college may seem like a comparatively easier and more positive experience. However, college life differs in many ways from the lives of most high school students. Going away for college is a unique experience for everyone, but for most students, it will involve making major adjustments.

Once you’re on campus, you’ll typically be expected to handle most aspects of your life much more independently, from academics to social activities to everyday practical concerns. Balancing all these new responsibilities can be a challenging task.

While people often focus on the academic side of preparing for college, the more personal and practical skill sets that college also requires are just as important.

Here are 4 areas you’ll need to consider as you get ready for the demands of college life: 

Get comfortable taking care of household chores and errands.

For many young people, the beginning of college is the first time they’ve lived independently from their families for an extended period of time. It can come as a shock for them to suddenly find themselves personally responsible for a whole range of activities that might have previously been taken care of by their parents or other family members.

From cleaning to paying the bills to running errands, there are many adult tasks for which you’ll need to take responsibility in order for your college life to run smoothly. It’s wise to start learning how to accomplish these tasks well before it becomes absolutely necessary for you to do them for yourself.

Many young people encounter obstacles as they learn to take on more substantial domestic tasks, but minor disasters, like shrinking all your sweaters by using the wrong temperature on the washing machine, are part of the learning process. With practice, you’ll become much more comfortable with these tasks, and the earlier you start practicing, the more secure in your abilities you’ll feel when you leave for college.

Understand and manage your financial situation.

In order for you to learn to handle your own finances, the first thing you’ll need to figure out is what financial resources you have and in what forms. Do you have savings, and if so, where are they held? Are there bonds in your name waiting to mature, or is there a trust fund or college fund being held for you? Whatever your situation, learn as much as you can about it.

If you have a bank account, check out its terms, and get in the habit of actually looking at your bank statements. (If you don’t have a bank account, get one!) You can also look up whether the bank you use now has branches and ATMs in the cities where you’re considering going to college—if not, you may end up finding it more convenient to open an additional account at a more accessible bank.

If you do have substantial savings, investments, or other financial resources of your own, now is the time to make sure you know what they are and how they work. Your family may be able to help you learn more and access more advanced financial planning resources.

High school is also a great time to start practicing making and sticking to a budget. No matter how much or how little money you have, you can keep track of and think critically about how much you earn, save, and spend. It’s also smart to get a sense of how much money is required in order to meet your usual needs and wants.

Talking about money can be awkward, but it’s important that you have an honest and forthright discussion with your parents about who pays for what and how. There are a number of important questions to be answered before you leave for college, some regarding everyday expenses, others regarding what plans are in place to help you in an emergency situation. 

How much will your parents contribute to your living expenses during college, and how will they send you those funds? Will you have access to a family credit card for emergencies and/or for everyday expenses? Who pays for textbooks and school supplies, and what about medical expenses? Whatever you decide as a family, it’s best to make sure everyone is on the same page before you leave home.

Develop sustainable and organized work habits.

Everybody procrastinates sometimes, and college offers plenty of distractions that can interfere with your academic performance. The same is true of high school, of course, but at least in high school, you’re generally operating in a very structured academic environment with routines and rules that help guide your workflow.

Once you get to college, you’ll have to keep up with your workload much more independently. There are many benefits to this increased intellectual freedom, but the downside is that you’ll have less of a framework to depend upon to provide support, guidance, and check-ins as you complete course assignments. 

It’s important to learn good work habits while you’re still in high school because sooner or later, they’ll become essential to your academic success. Studying, writing essays, and other academic tasks become much easier if you have good habits already in place for managing your schoolwork.

Particularly in the present day, technology can be a useful ally. There are a wide range of productivity apps and computer programs available that might be a good fit for you. Some block your computer or phone from accessing social media websites for a certain period of time. Others help structure your study schedule with tools like checklists, alarms, calendars, and reminders

The bottom line is that you should do what works best for you, as long as it’s healthy and constructive. Whether it’s asking a trusted friend to change your Facebook password during finals period, maintaining an elaborate system of Post-It notes, or managing your time with a calendar app, the best work and organizational habits are those that you can effectively maintain over time and come to rely upon.

In the end, only you can say what will genuinely help you to get work done and which specific strategies match up to which of your goals. Use your time in high school to experiment and find the methods that work best for you.

Learn how to ask for help.

Sometimes, people conflate adulthood with total independence, but this approach isn’t always the best way to go. No matter how old, experienced, or ambitious you are, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it—and sooner or later, everyone needs help.

What you need to learn, the earlier the better, is how to ask for help in a clear, mature, and effective way. This includes figuring out when it’s time to seek help with a task or decision, which can affect how easy it is to resolve the problem—recognizing the issue and intervening early can make a huge difference.

You’ll also need to work on ascertaining who is able and willing to provide that help, and phrasing your request in an appropriate way to get the specific information or assistance you need. If you don’t direct the right questions to the right people, you won’t find your answers nearly as easily. 

Once you get to college, you’ll most likely be surrounded by resources that you can access to help you solve problems and make the best of your college experiment. These might include academic tutoring, mediation for interpersonal or roommate issues, counseling to keep you mentally and physically healthy, and programs to help you manage your stress level, among many others.

These resources are great to have, but once you’re attending college and living a more adult life, they do require some work and commitment on your part to access. An instructor might, for example, recommend that you seek out tutoring to help you through a rough patch in one of your courses, but it’s up to you to actually sign up and go to your tutoring sessions.

As you get closer to college, it’s vital that you develop your ability to ask for help effectively and appropriately. You need to start taking ownership of your life, and this includes recognizing your limits and proactively seeking out the help you need rather than muddling through and hoping that problems just go away.

We hope this helps. For other resource help, comment below or shoot us an email

How Good is the SAT/ACT at Predicting College Success?

As you probably know by now, standardized test scores are a basic part of the college application process. Most schools will require you to submit your scores from the SAT or ACT in order to apply, and a high score is a necessity for admission to the best colleges.

For years, however, educators, admissions professionals, and students like yourself have been asking what SAT and ACT scores really mean. What does a standardized test actually measure, especially when it’s so different from the experience of learning in a classroom setting? What does a student’s test score as far as their chances of succeeding in college later on?

The ACT and SAT won’t ask you to demonstrate knowledge of specific highly advanced content, and they don’t measure how “smart” you are. However, studies show that these tests have some predictive ability when it comes to anticipating how well you’ll do in college, albeit within limits. In this post, we’ll go over the data that’s available, explain what this data may mean, and suggest how you can use this interpretation to better manage your college prospects.

Defining the Parameters: What Does “College Success” Mean?

In order to answer the question of whether your SAT and ACT scores can predict whether you’ll succeed in college, we first need to ask the question of what it means to succeed in college, and what quantitative factors we can use to measure that success.

The quality of your college experience is something that everyone defines a little differently. For you, college success might mean getting good grades and academic awards, preparing well for your future career, or making networking connections that will help you to achieve your goals, among many other options. Many of these definitions are subjective, personal, or unquantifiable, which makes it difficult to use them to determine the predictive ability of standardized tests.

When schools and other institutions attempt to define college success, they tend to stick with factors that can be quantified and compared more easily. Commonly used measures of success include college GPA, graduation rate, or how long the average student takes to graduate. Success in college might also be measured by how many students find high-quality employment after graduation, or the average income of students a certain number of years after graduation.

Researchers have attempted to study the relationships between SAT and ACT scores and each of these measures of success, as well as others. Some of these studies haven’t produced much useful data, but some have found potentially interesting correlations between a student’s standardized test scores and their eventual college performance.

The Data: What Have Researchers Discovered, and What Does It Mean?

There isn’t space in this post to go over the entire body of research on test scores and college success in great detail. We can say this much: overall, studies have shown that students who score higher on the SAT and/or ACT are slightly more likely to achieve higher grades in college and higher incomes after college.

In this sense, we can say that in general, higher standardized test scores do show a correlation with college success as it’s usually defined. This effect is heightened because top-tier colleges, which tend to have very successful students, use test scores as a selection factor, so students with high test scores are more likely to get admitted to colleges that will give them the best chance to succeed. However, it’s not quite that simple; several other factors complicate this interpretation.

First of all, these studies only show correlation, not causation, a distinction you may have learned about in science or statistics courses. Basically, we can see that students who score highly on the SAT and ACT do tend to also show higher levels of college success, but this information doesn’t tell us why this happens, or necessarily mean that the former causes the latter.

Whether a student does well on the SAT or ACT can be affected by a variety of factors aside from the student’s inherent aptitude. For instance, it’s pretty clear that targeted test preparation can raise your scores, but high-quality resources for preparing for the SAT and ACT aren’t available or accessible to everyone. It’s hard to tell how these factors interact to produce a successful college student; other factors might have more of an impact than high test scores.

Another factor to take into account is that even when studies do show a relationship between test scores and college success, the correlation is not very strong. In other words, a student who gets a higher score on the ACT or SAT is slightly more likely to be more successful in college, but only slightly. Your standardized test scores don’t always predict your future.

Some studies have found that in practice, your high school grades and GPA tend to be better predictors of your eventual college success than your SAT and/or ACT scores. It’s thought that course grades, which are made up of many different assignments and exams over a long period of time, are more comparable to the challenges you’ll encounter in college than your test scores.

To maintain a high GPA, you need to put consistent and dedicated effort into your coursework over a long period of time, and skill in this area will be invaluable as you move on to college. Standardized test scores are based on a smaller amount of data, collected at only a few test sittings, so they may not reflect as accurately your ability to keep up a high level of performance throughout your college experience and in your future career.

What Can I Do With This Information?

There are a lot of opinions out there about the value of standardized tests and how much they do or should matter. In recent years, a handful of colleges, including some that are very well-regarded, have decided to go “test-optional,” meaning that they don’t require students to submit SAT or ACT scores as part of their applications. (You can learn more about test-optional colleges in our blog post The Reality of the Testing-Optional Trend.)

Still, it’s clear that your SAT and ACT scores measure something that’s important to the majority of colleges when they’re considering applicants for admission. Most competitive colleges require you to submit these test scores, so it’s important that you put time and effort into preparing for your tests in order to get the best scores that you can.

The data we have right now does suggest that your SAT and/or ACT scores may have some value in predicting how well you’ll do in college.  High test scores may indicate that you’re well-prepared for the challenges that college will present. At the same time, however, it’s wise not to get too caught up in trying to predict the future, especially while you’re still in high school.

Getting high scores on your standardized tests doesn’t guarantee that college will be a breeze for you, especially if you attend a college that’s known for its academic rigor. Your own choices will also affect how well you do in college, from which courses or majors you pursue to how well you study and organize your time.

By the same token, if your test scores are lower than you’d like them to be, this doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to fail in college. Some students just perform much better in a classroom than they do on standardized tests. Besides, you still have time to improve your study habits, get help with particular problem areas, and otherwise work on doing better in school.

If you’re preparing to apply to competitive colleges, you definitely need to take the SAT and/or ACT, and also take some time to study and prepare beforehand to maximize your chance of a good score. These tests are still required by the large majority of colleges, and a good score is a necessity for admission into the most prestigious and popular schools.

However, it’s equally clear that your standardized test scores are not the be-all and end-all of academic success, and you shouldn’t place too much value on these tests as a measure of your ability and worth. A correlation exists between high test scores and college success, but many other factors are also important in determining your educational path.

Get informed and prepare responsibly for your SAT and/or ACT, but don’t let yourself get too caught up in the outcome of these tests. Making the most of your time in high school, finding a college that’s a great fit for you, and setting yourself up to achieve your goals are much more complicated than your score on any standardized test.

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How To Thank Teachers Who Wrote Recommendation Letters

Finally, the grunt work of the college application process is over. You have gathered all of the necessary documents, written stellar essays, and submitted your college applications. Now, while you wait, it is time to reflect on those who helped you in the application process.

After all, you were not the only one who worked hard on your applications. Your parents gave you all of the demographic and financial information you needed, your peers or teachers may have looked over your essays, and most importantly, your teachers submitted those required recommendation letters.

Now that you have submitted your applications, you ought to think about thanking your teachers for helping you with your application. What is the most appropriate way to show your gratitude? We at Edbrand have compiled the following guide to thanking teachers who wrote your recommendation letters for your college applications.

How should I thank my teachers?

A Card

Cards are a simple and inexpensive way to tell a teacher that you appreciate what they have done for you and your future. A handmade card is the most thoughtful and shows a teacher that you took the time to think of them and make them something special.

Note that a Hallmark card or a generic thank-you card from the store does not show the teacher that you put any thought or care into the thank you. There is nothing heartfelt or personal about a generic card.

Thus, if you choose to buy a card, make sure you write a sincere message to your teacher. Don’t use clichés like “you mean the world to me” or “words cannot describe how much your letter meant to me.” Try to make the message personal and thoughtful so that the teacher knows how much you care.

A great place to start when thinking about what to write is to recall a specific and fond memory you had with the teacher. Perhaps you two bonded in class over a book you both liked or perhaps there was one lecture in her class that you thoroughly enjoyed and still remember. Adding those fond memories to your message will make your card more thoughtful and personal.

A Gift

Getting a teacher a gift is a lot trickier than getting them a card. First of all, it is important to note that it is by no means necessary. However, if you decide to give a gift, make sure that it would be an appropriate gift to offer a teacher and wouldn’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to refuse.

Some schools have policies against getting teachers gifts, and some teachers simply don’t feel comfortable accepting gifts from students. Thus, it is important to check beforehand and make sure it is acceptable to get your teacher a gift before you actually buy one.

If you know it’s okay to give a gift and you want to, make sure that the gift is heartfelt. You don’t have to get your teacher anything extravagant like a large gift basket or a $100 massage voucher. In fact, you should avoid being too flashy with your gift. It is not appropriate for the situation, and many teachers may not be comfortable accepting such an expensive gift from a student.

The goal for a teacher gift is to be small but personal. Think about the teacher — what are their interests, passions, hobbies, or obsessions? Perhaps Shakespeare is your teacher’s literary hero, or your teacher loves to put beach decorations around their classroom.

Knowing these little nuances about your teacher will help you get them a simple, personal gift. For example, you could get your Shakespeare-loving teacher a mug with a King Lear quote on it. You could get your beach-obsessed teacher a nice beach-themed magnet or poster for their classroom.

If you can’t think of anything that the teacher would personally like, you can opt to give them a memento of the college that you will be attending. This can be anything from the college banner, a mug with the university logo on it, or even a university sweatshirt. Any gift that is related to the university you are attending will remind the teacher that they helped you get there, which many teachers will appreciate.

Talk To Them

Regardless of whether you give a card or a gift, you should thank your teacher in person. It is extremely rewarding for educators to see that they are making a difference in a student’s life and that students appreciate their hard work. Go up to your teacher and thank them sincerely, and be sure to let them know how excited you are about the opportunity they’ve helped you get.

Also, if you choose to thank your teachers before you have gotten your results back, do not stop contact there. Always let them know the results of your application. Teachers want to see their students succeed and its important to maintain relationships with people who have spent so much time on your personal growth.