Blog posts on college admissions by Arjun Seth
Devrath Bhartia's roommate essay!
Hello,
I am Devvrath Bhartia, your new roommate. Do call me Dev, most of my friends do.
I have much I want to share with you. I’ll start by telling you a bit about myself.
I am a pretty much the guy next door. I enjoy hanging around with friends and eating at McDonalds (just imagine!). I am basically a sports person and try my hand at most games. I look forward to skiing on the slopes of Vermont and New Hampshire. The last time I skied was at a camp in Switzerland, it was a real fun experience. I also like watching a game of football or baseball, with a large helping of my favorite popcorn. I am a total soccer buff. I eat, sleep and drink soccer. I idolize Ronaldo, and my bag, books and many of my shirts have Manchester United logos on them. I hope you like Man U as well, or at least don’t dislike them!
Having grown up at boarding school my friends have become almost like family; my friendships are very dear to me. I am helpful, kind, generous and friendly. Sometimes, though, I do get upset but I tend to get over it very quickly. Though, I have to tell you - my modesty did take a hit when I passed my slam book around on the last day of school. I got some rather interesting entries!
One friend wrote,’ He is a Joey kind of guy.’ Hmm.. At times I did relate to Chandler, but Joey? He said he saw in me the same funny, friendly, innocent and at times childish characteristics.
Another comment went, “At times, I feel like punching him, who wouldn’t considering he told my parents that I overspent my allowance buying the ridiculously expensive GTA IV for my play station. At other times, I just adore him especially when he gave me a friendship card that read ‘I may not be your ideal best mate. but yes, I am always your Archie just as you are my Jughead. I have never hated loving a guy so much.”
Apart from the traditional values I have imbibed from being part of an Indian family, I have learned from watching my parents how hard work and determination are instrumental in achieving success. I have inherited a passion for real estate from my family and am a complete business geek: Babson seems to be a haven for us. Even as a kid, I loved going to the building site, wearing the bright yellow workers’ helmet and poring over my father’s complex drawings. It fascinates me to see, how in one year, a completely barren and empty land, can transform into a lifestyle for many. I wish to expand my family’s real estate business into a multi-national realty development corporation and to lead an organization which aims at financial as well as philanthropic fulfillment.
I love the way a college guide described the most competitive sport in Babson as ‘making money!’ I doubt whether anywhere else in the world I would get school funding to start my business in the first year, or hone my stock picking skills by managing part of the college’s endowment. Babson seems to be the ideal place to nurture my dreams. It has the dual advantage of possessing vast resources and the learning environment of a small college. I appreciate the way Babson does not have teaching assistants and all classes are conducted by Professors. I believe that education is not the mere learning of facts and figures but a means to open our minds to the various possibilities that exist for us and to further our personal growth. The fact that Babson is a business school, yet half the classes are in the liberal arts is testimony to its emphasis on all round development. To top it all, Babson prioritizes practical education. It is a fascinating mix of factors, the academics, the diversity, the campus, the location and most importantly the atmosphere conducive to my personal and intellectual growth which made Babson the ideal choice for me.
I look forward to four years of hard work, fun and friends. I can assure you of four years of memories, experiences and unforgettable moments, some funny, some serious, some happy and some sad, but each one, memorable..
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
U Michigan Supplement!
Share experiences through which you have gained respect for cultural, social differences. Comment on how your experience would contribute to the diversity of UMich.(250 words)
As I tuned into a news channel on television, all I saw was Barack Obama. Every channel spoke about him, his wife and even his figure. But a channel that caught my particular attention was the one showing Obama’s history. It was showing his Kenyan Family celebrating his Presidential win. The moment I saw those images of Kenya I was lost. Lost in the lanes of my memories. Lost in the depths of my past. Lost in remembering those 15 days of magic.
I was working on this site where we were building the school in Ilbisill, when I took a break to cool myself off the high temperatures. Sitting on a window ledge, I was sipping my energy drink when I was joined by Jacob. I had got to know him quite a bit by then, so I asked him,” Tell me Jacob, How is life in Kenya?” and he replied with a smile” I will tell you my life, and it will be similar to life of all Kenyans”. He said, “I was a boy of four when I first realized I lived in an orphanage. I had grown up with people similar to me, so never actually realized that I was different from the rest. I spent my childhood years working in a nearby mine. It gave me some pocket money and allowed my friends and me to keep ourselves full.” I couldn’t help asking, “But don’t orphanages give u food?” He smiled,” In Kenya orphanages are not like in your white world. Here nothing is for free, to kids or to adults. So at age 12 I ran away from the orphanage. Not because I did not like it, but because I did not want to be caged. I wanted to see the world outside. So, I ran to the nearby village without thinking where I would sleep or what I would eat. It was once that I reached the village I actually learnt how I was different. I saw families, children with their mothers and fathers. I saw babies, sisters and grandmothers. I saw love, I saw affection and feeling. Things I had never been given. Things I had never felt. I did not feel sad, but I felt lonely. Very lonely. The chief of that village gratefully let me stay, at a price of course. I was to give him most of my earnings from my mine. The little that was left, I managed to get a meal a day. Years passed and all that changed was my height. It was some day; I don’t remember the date, that this man met me in the mine. He was rich I could see. He came in a car, and was wearing a gold bracelet. He took me away with him to Ilbisill, the village where we now stand. Till today, I work at his home, cleaning his house and his shoes.
A gleeful shout brought me back to the present. I could see singing and dancing going on in Obama’s home town. I flipped the channel and saw a man test driving the Rolls Royce. I had only seen the car once in a place I will never forget.
It was the fourth of June festival. Perhaps the biggest festival of the year at Eton College U.K. It was that day that I realized how fortunate I was to be an exchange student to Eton. As a student, I was to wear a three piece suit with a red rose put inside my top pocket. I felt like a King that day. I saw big cars and big people with big bodyguards. In Eton, everybody is a somebody, known for their wealth or their legacy. Eton was different, it had its own uniqueness.. One day I asked a friend I had managed to make in Eton, ““ Tom, it has been a couple of weeks here, but I yet have to see a single etonian teasing, playing or missing a class. This school seems to have everything yet it misses that something. I feel more a novice in a finishing college than a student in a high school. Where is the fun?? Tom raised an eyebrow and smirked,” Look dev, Eton is not only a school; it’s a lifestyle, a society. Over here sophistication and panache rule the school and fun for us is a game of golf or a stint at the casino. Maybe at times even a Champagne party” I didn’t say a thing as I thought nothing wrong of it, just that it was different for me. My school is not half an Eton in size or in name but it has closeness, a homely feeling Eton was devoid of. My classmates at Eton missed that spark to learn, that naughty innocence of a child and that motivation to excel, to succeed that every child is usually brimming with.
I consider myself fortunate to have experienced both Eton as well as Kenya. They changed me in little ways and taught me life’s lessons that would have taken years to learn. I learnt a lot about tolerance and acceptance. Moreover ,I got a chance to know people from across the world. University of Michigan is an already diverse university brimming with different colors. I only hope to add my color and make the university even more diverse than it already is. My experiences in Kenya and Eton will only help me feel homely in an environment of different cultures and traditions. They will allow me to make UMich my home away from home.
As I tuned into a news channel on television, all I saw was Barack Obama. Every channel spoke about him, his wife and even his figure. But a channel that caught my particular attention was the one showing Obama’s history. It was showing his Kenyan Family celebrating his Presidential win. The moment I saw those images of Kenya I was lost. Lost in the lanes of my memories. Lost in the depths of my past. Lost in remembering those 15 days of magic.
I was working on this site where we were building the school in Ilbisill, when I took a break to cool myself off the high temperatures. Sitting on a window ledge, I was sipping my energy drink when I was joined by Jacob. I had got to know him quite a bit by then, so I asked him,” Tell me Jacob, How is life in Kenya?” and he replied with a smile” I will tell you my life, and it will be similar to life of all Kenyans”. He said, “I was a boy of four when I first realized I lived in an orphanage. I had grown up with people similar to me, so never actually realized that I was different from the rest. I spent my childhood years working in a nearby mine. It gave me some pocket money and allowed my friends and me to keep ourselves full.” I couldn’t help asking, “But don’t orphanages give u food?” He smiled,” In Kenya orphanages are not like in your white world. Here nothing is for free, to kids or to adults. So at age 12 I ran away from the orphanage. Not because I did not like it, but because I did not want to be caged. I wanted to see the world outside. So, I ran to the nearby village without thinking where I would sleep or what I would eat. It was once that I reached the village I actually learnt how I was different. I saw families, children with their mothers and fathers. I saw babies, sisters and grandmothers. I saw love, I saw affection and feeling. Things I had never been given. Things I had never felt. I did not feel sad, but I felt lonely. Very lonely. The chief of that village gratefully let me stay, at a price of course. I was to give him most of my earnings from my mine. The little that was left, I managed to get a meal a day. Years passed and all that changed was my height. It was some day; I don’t remember the date, that this man met me in the mine. He was rich I could see. He came in a car, and was wearing a gold bracelet. He took me away with him to Ilbisill, the village where we now stand. Till today, I work at his home, cleaning his house and his shoes.
A gleeful shout brought me back to the present. I could see singing and dancing going on in Obama’s home town. I flipped the channel and saw a man test driving the Rolls Royce. I had only seen the car once in a place I will never forget.
It was the fourth of June festival. Perhaps the biggest festival of the year at Eton College U.K. It was that day that I realized how fortunate I was to be an exchange student to Eton. As a student, I was to wear a three piece suit with a red rose put inside my top pocket. I felt like a King that day. I saw big cars and big people with big bodyguards. In Eton, everybody is a somebody, known for their wealth or their legacy. Eton was different, it had its own uniqueness.. One day I asked a friend I had managed to make in Eton, ““ Tom, it has been a couple of weeks here, but I yet have to see a single etonian teasing, playing or missing a class. This school seems to have everything yet it misses that something. I feel more a novice in a finishing college than a student in a high school. Where is the fun?? Tom raised an eyebrow and smirked,” Look dev, Eton is not only a school; it’s a lifestyle, a society. Over here sophistication and panache rule the school and fun for us is a game of golf or a stint at the casino. Maybe at times even a Champagne party” I didn’t say a thing as I thought nothing wrong of it, just that it was different for me. My school is not half an Eton in size or in name but it has closeness, a homely feeling Eton was devoid of. My classmates at Eton missed that spark to learn, that naughty innocence of a child and that motivation to excel, to succeed that every child is usually brimming with.
I consider myself fortunate to have experienced both Eton as well as Kenya. They changed me in little ways and taught me life’s lessons that would have taken years to learn. I learnt a lot about tolerance and acceptance. Moreover ,I got a chance to know people from across the world. University of Michigan is an already diverse university brimming with different colors. I only hope to add my color and make the university even more diverse than it already is. My experiences in Kenya and Eton will only help me feel homely in an environment of different cultures and traditions. They will allow me to make UMich my home away from home.
Dhrupad Bhardwaj's SAT Writing essay got a 12!!
Excerpt:
Choice improves the quality of our lives. On the other hand, the fact that some choice is good doesn’t necessarily mean that more choice is better. There is a problem with having too much choice. We are unwilling to give up any of our options, but stubbornly insisting upon having all the choices available to us can lead to bad decisions, stress, and dissatisfaction.
Assignment: Is it better for people to have limited choice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience or observations.
Essay:
The human mind is designed to take decisions based on logic and reasoning. A scenario depriving humans of choice would render them mentally inert. It also allows monopolies to exist. I will show you with three examples how choice has improved lives.
In post World War II England, British Airways was the only functioning airline. With more civilians opting for air travel, they exploited the booming market. A consumer satisfaction study in 1963 showed that most people would sail to France and board a flight there than fly straight out of England. British Airway’s monopoly was costing them passengers who were unhappy with the poor standards aboard their aircraft. With no credible competition, the company had no incentive to improve. However in 1984, Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic airline began plying from London’s Heathrow Airport. In about a year they had stolen seventy three percent of British Airway’s market. BA was forced to improve their standards in order to stay afloat. Radical new norms in passenger comfort and safety were soon introduced making BA one of the most successful airlines in the world. All thanks to the gentle push of consumer choice.
Steve Jobs was an American entrepreneur and founder and CEO of Apple Inc. Apple’s first product was the personal computer, but their main selling point above their rivals was the ability to customize your machine. Unlike anything in the market at that time, this feature made the Apple II an immediate best seller amongst buyers of PCs. The problem with most other computers was that they relied too much on overstated hardware to make up for chinks in the software, which came from other companies like Microsoft. The PCs were expensive and often managed to just about perform the tasks a particular person needed. Apple relied on the fact that a PC was going to be for one person only, and allowed people to design the computer exactly to their needs. The superior software was a cherry on top to ensure the systems ran smoothly. By the early 2000s all other companies followed suit yet they had a tough time competing with the systems Apple sold. For once, Apple’s abundance of choice caused a market frenzy instead of confusing thousands of clients.
As of the 21st century, China has emerged as one of the leading economies in the world. Their economic might has transgressed the boundaries of the stock exchanges to make China a superpower in its own right. However, a totalitarian communist government has made the people pay a price for this success. UN estimates put China’s poverty rate at between 12-23% , comparable to some African nations. The government had gone to great lengths to suppress these sections of the society to prevent tainting the image of the new China. Yet as around 150 million people lie in squalor, others fight suppression and censure as the government insists on keeping a lid on all activities in the country. This is a direct consequence of the lack of political resistance to the current Chinese government. Since the revolution, the Chinese Maoists have crushed all opposition parties and currently hold dummy elections to impress their quest for democracy on a world stage. A drought of political contenders has left a nation of 1.5 billion prosperous, yet housing one too many skeletons in its closet.
Indeed choice is better for the people. Given the current norm of deregulation of markets and sweep of democracy around the world, systems are relying on people exercising their discretion in choosing how they function financially as well as politically. The moment one restricts these choices we indirectly undermine the right of individuals as well as nations to function. Choice doesn’t only let people know the length and breadth of what’s out there, it makes the contenders fight to be chosen, breaking monopolies, making the world a more equitable place. As Lincoln aptly put it, choice is “of the people, by the people, for the people”
Choice improves the quality of our lives. On the other hand, the fact that some choice is good doesn’t necessarily mean that more choice is better. There is a problem with having too much choice. We are unwilling to give up any of our options, but stubbornly insisting upon having all the choices available to us can lead to bad decisions, stress, and dissatisfaction.
Adapted from Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less
Assignment: Is it better for people to have limited choice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience or observations.
Essay:
The human mind is designed to take decisions based on logic and reasoning. A scenario depriving humans of choice would render them mentally inert. It also allows monopolies to exist. I will show you with three examples how choice has improved lives.
In post World War II England, British Airways was the only functioning airline. With more civilians opting for air travel, they exploited the booming market. A consumer satisfaction study in 1963 showed that most people would sail to France and board a flight there than fly straight out of England. British Airway’s monopoly was costing them passengers who were unhappy with the poor standards aboard their aircraft. With no credible competition, the company had no incentive to improve. However in 1984, Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic airline began plying from London’s Heathrow Airport. In about a year they had stolen seventy three percent of British Airway’s market. BA was forced to improve their standards in order to stay afloat. Radical new norms in passenger comfort and safety were soon introduced making BA one of the most successful airlines in the world. All thanks to the gentle push of consumer choice.
Steve Jobs was an American entrepreneur and founder and CEO of Apple Inc. Apple’s first product was the personal computer, but their main selling point above their rivals was the ability to customize your machine. Unlike anything in the market at that time, this feature made the Apple II an immediate best seller amongst buyers of PCs. The problem with most other computers was that they relied too much on overstated hardware to make up for chinks in the software, which came from other companies like Microsoft. The PCs were expensive and often managed to just about perform the tasks a particular person needed. Apple relied on the fact that a PC was going to be for one person only, and allowed people to design the computer exactly to their needs. The superior software was a cherry on top to ensure the systems ran smoothly. By the early 2000s all other companies followed suit yet they had a tough time competing with the systems Apple sold. For once, Apple’s abundance of choice caused a market frenzy instead of confusing thousands of clients.
As of the 21st century, China has emerged as one of the leading economies in the world. Their economic might has transgressed the boundaries of the stock exchanges to make China a superpower in its own right. However, a totalitarian communist government has made the people pay a price for this success. UN estimates put China’s poverty rate at between 12-23% , comparable to some African nations. The government had gone to great lengths to suppress these sections of the society to prevent tainting the image of the new China. Yet as around 150 million people lie in squalor, others fight suppression and censure as the government insists on keeping a lid on all activities in the country. This is a direct consequence of the lack of political resistance to the current Chinese government. Since the revolution, the Chinese Maoists have crushed all opposition parties and currently hold dummy elections to impress their quest for democracy on a world stage. A drought of political contenders has left a nation of 1.5 billion prosperous, yet housing one too many skeletons in its closet.
Indeed choice is better for the people. Given the current norm of deregulation of markets and sweep of democracy around the world, systems are relying on people exercising their discretion in choosing how they function financially as well as politically. The moment one restricts these choices we indirectly undermine the right of individuals as well as nations to function. Choice doesn’t only let people know the length and breadth of what’s out there, it makes the contenders fight to be chosen, breaking monopolies, making the world a more equitable place. As Lincoln aptly put it, choice is “of the people, by the people, for the people”
Avantika Aggarwal's commonapp essay and what she has to say about it!
I teetered dangerously on the seat as the rickshaw bumped over potholes. After skirting all kinds of animal life I finally reached my destination – a small school run by Udyam Prayas. Children came to study here after school and during their vacation, to supplement what they get from the inadequately trained staff of their government run school.
It was a decrepit building where the doors hung precariously. The uneven, gloomy stairs led to the classroom, which, in contrast, was vibrant and happy with the chatter and laughter of the children. As I stood tentatively at the door, one of them spotted me and before I knew it I was surrounded and gently nudged into the classroom and into their lives. It made me reflect how long my friends and I took to give a new kid a break.
Later that day, I noticed Shivam, sitting apart, in one corner of the classroom, ignored and withdrawn. His demeanour reminded me of the person I had been way back in grade eight – reticent, diffident and lacking in confidence. I spent some time chatting with him and by the end of the day I realised that Shivam struggled endlessly, especially in mathematics. Added to this was his complete disengagement from the surrounding environment and he appeared to be a social misfit. It was as if he saw no reason to be there.
As I rode the metro home, I reflected on my life and surmised that a series of events and people had helped me change from a risk averse, retreating human being into a person who loved life and its challenges. I wanted very much to help Shivam, but I had limited time on my hands. I knew I could only make a beginning.
Shivam and I started putting in an extra hour each morning to help him catch up with his mathematics and on the third day we had a breakthrough. Shivam was playing with clay and I watched, fascinated, as he shaped exquisite little figurines from it. I coaxed him to display these to his fellow students. As the kids squealed and exclaimed, he looked down, bashful and bewildered. It was hard for him to believe that he too could be appreciated.
From there began our journey. We started devoting the lunch break each day to clay-play. A small group of kids would join in and in that slice of time, the metamorphosis in Shivam was astounding as he helped them pat and shape the clay. Although I longed for a miracle, it was unrealistic to expect one. However, the little changes that I noticed gave me the confidence that we were on the right path. He was now a part of a small group of kids, hovering on the edges but, nevertheless, a part of it. His academic progress was painfully slow but he was trying. The desperate look of wanting to escape was not there in his eyes anymore.
I knew that this was only the start of a journey for Shivam but I was happy that together we had set a ball rolling.
At times, life seems to lack meaning, direction or any sense whatsoever. One feels lost, dazed, almost as if nothing has a purpose anymore.
Yet there are certain moments of such extreme clarity, where the path we tread seems ever so clear, almost as if the stars are guiding us along our way, that we realize it is for these moments that one must continue to live life and not give up in the face of even the biggest adversity.
A similar life altering incident teaches me how to take life in my stride and help a lost soul find a few moments of happiness in what had been up till then, a lifetime of misery.
The article is delicately written, and it is obvious that much care and attention has been paid to ensure that my emotions are conveyed to the reader in their purest form. The vivid descriptions of all the elements involved immediately help the reader picture exactly what is being said, almost as if everything is happening before their own eyes. However, there is a certain incompleteness to the story, almost as if I had too much to say, too many thoughts, but just couldn’t pen them down. Certain parts seem to have been eliminated, as if the I was too scared that I had revealed things about myself too intimate to be shared with others. What makes this story memorable though, is the underlying tone of optimism throughout. While reading the story, I couldn't help but wish that the boy gains a little joy from my attempts to make a difference in his life.
There are a few thing in life that make you smile because you’re happy, a few things that make you cry because you’re sad, but the true treasures are the things that make you so happy, they make you cry. It is this very essence that I have managed to capture in my story, which hold people captivated till the very end.
It was a decrepit building where the doors hung precariously. The uneven, gloomy stairs led to the classroom, which, in contrast, was vibrant and happy with the chatter and laughter of the children. As I stood tentatively at the door, one of them spotted me and before I knew it I was surrounded and gently nudged into the classroom and into their lives. It made me reflect how long my friends and I took to give a new kid a break.
Later that day, I noticed Shivam, sitting apart, in one corner of the classroom, ignored and withdrawn. His demeanour reminded me of the person I had been way back in grade eight – reticent, diffident and lacking in confidence. I spent some time chatting with him and by the end of the day I realised that Shivam struggled endlessly, especially in mathematics. Added to this was his complete disengagement from the surrounding environment and he appeared to be a social misfit. It was as if he saw no reason to be there.
As I rode the metro home, I reflected on my life and surmised that a series of events and people had helped me change from a risk averse, retreating human being into a person who loved life and its challenges. I wanted very much to help Shivam, but I had limited time on my hands. I knew I could only make a beginning.
Shivam and I started putting in an extra hour each morning to help him catch up with his mathematics and on the third day we had a breakthrough. Shivam was playing with clay and I watched, fascinated, as he shaped exquisite little figurines from it. I coaxed him to display these to his fellow students. As the kids squealed and exclaimed, he looked down, bashful and bewildered. It was hard for him to believe that he too could be appreciated.
From there began our journey. We started devoting the lunch break each day to clay-play. A small group of kids would join in and in that slice of time, the metamorphosis in Shivam was astounding as he helped them pat and shape the clay. Although I longed for a miracle, it was unrealistic to expect one. However, the little changes that I noticed gave me the confidence that we were on the right path. He was now a part of a small group of kids, hovering on the edges but, nevertheless, a part of it. His academic progress was painfully slow but he was trying. The desperate look of wanting to escape was not there in his eyes anymore.
I knew that this was only the start of a journey for Shivam but I was happy that together we had set a ball rolling.
At times, life seems to lack meaning, direction or any sense whatsoever. One feels lost, dazed, almost as if nothing has a purpose anymore.
Yet there are certain moments of such extreme clarity, where the path we tread seems ever so clear, almost as if the stars are guiding us along our way, that we realize it is for these moments that one must continue to live life and not give up in the face of even the biggest adversity.
A similar life altering incident teaches me how to take life in my stride and help a lost soul find a few moments of happiness in what had been up till then, a lifetime of misery.
The article is delicately written, and it is obvious that much care and attention has been paid to ensure that my emotions are conveyed to the reader in their purest form. The vivid descriptions of all the elements involved immediately help the reader picture exactly what is being said, almost as if everything is happening before their own eyes. However, there is a certain incompleteness to the story, almost as if I had too much to say, too many thoughts, but just couldn’t pen them down. Certain parts seem to have been eliminated, as if the I was too scared that I had revealed things about myself too intimate to be shared with others. What makes this story memorable though, is the underlying tone of optimism throughout. While reading the story, I couldn't help but wish that the boy gains a little joy from my attempts to make a difference in his life.
There are a few thing in life that make you smile because you’re happy, a few things that make you cry because you’re sad, but the true treasures are the things that make you so happy, they make you cry. It is this very essence that I have managed to capture in my story, which hold people captivated till the very end.
Tanushree Gupta's SAT essay got a 12!!
Essay prompt : Although most of us do not like being criticized, it is said that we can always benefit from being told what we are doing wrong. We may lose a valuable learning opportunity if we do not listen to the criticisms expressed by others. Yet criticism, even when honest and well-intended, can be more harmful than helpful. We have more to gain by ignoring or shielding ourselves from the criticisms of others.
Essay : As the famous saying goes, “It is easy to talk the talk rather than to walk the walk”. It is true that in a game the onlookers make the most noise whereas the player just keeps playing. Various examples throughout literature and history stand testimony to the truth that there is more to gain by shielding ourselves from the criticism of others. The first example discussed here would be of Jose Marti, a Cuban revolutionary who fought even though her policies and actions were condemned. The second example would refer to an incident popularly known as “Seward’s folly” in the United States. Lastly, the third example would discuss about Charles Goodyear, the man who made rubber useful to the world.
To begin with, Jose Marti was a famous Cuban revolutionary who fought for the independence and freedom that Cuba deserved from the unjust rule of Spain. Despite facing intense criticism, Jose fought with all her heart towards what she believed. The criticism then, reached it’s peak and Jose had to flee to New York City following which she lost her life in the Anglo-Spanish war. Thus, like many other freedom fighters, Jose too despite facing criticism fought for the Cuban independence. On the contrary, if they would have yielded to criticism Cuba would still be tied under the unfair rule of Spain.
Another incident that stands as a plus is the “Seward’s Folly”. Seward was the former Secretary of State in America. Heavily criticized for his policies and beliefs, he was not supported by his countrymen when he made an agreement to buy Alaska. Americans thought that Alaska was nothing but a barren snow covered land. Later, it turned out that Alaska was home to rich goldmines, oil and various other resources,
Lastly, Charles Goodyear who made rubber useful to man had to spend seventeen years of his life facing criticism, discouragement and various other social evils. Yet, he stuck to his work and proved the successfulness of rubber to mankind through a process called “Vulcanization”. Had it not been for Charle’s determination and will-power, the usefulness of rubber would have been hugely delayed for years.
To conclude with, it is not about sitting back when the world tells you to but about showing the world that only under pressure can diamonds be made.
Shantanu Garg's essay on his reforms as a PT leader.
Shantanu’s essay showcases his passion for sports, his ability to take successful risks, and his exceptional leadership qualities. Thus, he stands out as an ideal candidate for a university.
Shantanu Garg CMC'14, Vassar, Carleton
For 75 years students at Doon have been waking up at 6:00 am everyday for Physical Training, a prestigious tradition, practicing rigorous drills in search of perfection, while wishing for 1 more hour of sleep. We had not won in 15 years, but I, as a PT leader of Jaipur House, was determined to change that.
So I designed a non-traditional formation. Not only did I change the exercises, but also the various technical structures to create an outline of an eagle’s wing (the symbol of our House). I remember our PT in-charge's words – "Shantanu, this will never work, it is too risky." But the risk paid off. The judges were mesmerized by our performance and we won all the trophies that day.
Shantanu Garg CMC'14, Vassar, Carleton
For 75 years students at Doon have been waking up at 6:00 am everyday for Physical Training, a prestigious tradition, practicing rigorous drills in search of perfection, while wishing for 1 more hour of sleep. We had not won in 15 years, but I, as a PT leader of Jaipur House, was determined to change that.
So I designed a non-traditional formation. Not only did I change the exercises, but also the various technical structures to create an outline of an eagle’s wing (the symbol of our House). I remember our PT in-charge's words – "Shantanu, this will never work, it is too risky." But the risk paid off. The judges were mesmerized by our performance and we won all the trophies that day.
Vidushi Nagarajan's SAT Essay. It got an 11!!
Essay prompt :Although most of us do not like being criticized, it is said that we can
always benefit from being told what we are doing wrong. We may lose a
valuable learning opportunity if we do not listen to the criticisms
expressed by others. Yet criticism, even when honest and well-intended,
can be more harmful than helpful. We have more to gain by ignoring or
shielding ourselves from the criticisms of others.
To be criticized is to be bettered. This is my personal belief. One can never know all of one's mistakes. Along life, at some point or the other guidance is required. I strongly believe that those who care about us enough to tell us where we are wrong provide us with constructive criticism.by telling us how we can improve ourselves; they increase our potential to do better in life.
During the summer holidays in the year 2009, my parents often used to tell me that I don't work enough. They kept telling me that I had become complacent, satisfied with my mediocre achievements. At times, their criticism would hurt. But they were right, as my board exams were just around the corner at that point. For a few weeks, I had adopted a rebellious attitude. I did the exact opposite of whatever i was told. But one day, when involved a practice paper and did horrifically in it, I realized that my parents were right. They had always been right. They criticized me every day, but they only did so for my good. They wanted me to do the best that I possibly could. At first I shielded myself from the criticism, but soon I began to realize that there were problems with my attitude. Since then, I began to adopt a different approach to my work. I began to work diligently, day after day in the pursuit of my goals. With their criticism, which was actually a form of guidance, I began to achieve more. My teachers criticized me, there were points when they felt I was slackening, but their criticism showed me that they never gave up on me all through. They got me through the hardest phase in my life because of their criticism. Sure enough, I got a ninety three per cent in those exams. If they had never told me I had gone wrong, I would never have been able to improvise on those mistakes and rectify them. This was only one example. Another example where criticism worked wonders was in the case of the great Indian cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar.
Since he was a child, Sachin Tendulkar's coach criticized him. Though it was honest and well-intended, his coach's remarks often hurt and discouraged him. Every great achievement of his, as perceived by him was belittled by his coach. He went through rigorous training with the same coach for years. Today he is the world's top cricketer, thanks to that criticism itself. Each time he was criticized, he felt the need to do better, to outshine himself. And sure enough, the fruits of his labour arrived. He became known worldwide for his talent, hard work and determination. This example too, reflects the positive effects of constant criticism.
Hence, as depicted by the above two examples, criticism if put forth in a constructive manner can bring out the best in a person. We must not shield ourselves from it. By shielding ourselves from it, we are simply hampering chances of our success in the future.
always benefit from being told what we are doing wrong. We may lose a
valuable learning opportunity if we do not listen to the criticisms
expressed by others. Yet criticism, even when honest and well-intended,
can be more harmful than helpful. We have more to gain by ignoring or
shielding ourselves from the criticisms of others.
To be criticized is to be bettered. This is my personal belief. One can never know all of one's mistakes. Along life, at some point or the other guidance is required. I strongly believe that those who care about us enough to tell us where we are wrong provide us with constructive criticism.by telling us how we can improve ourselves; they increase our potential to do better in life.
During the summer holidays in the year 2009, my parents often used to tell me that I don't work enough. They kept telling me that I had become complacent, satisfied with my mediocre achievements. At times, their criticism would hurt. But they were right, as my board exams were just around the corner at that point. For a few weeks, I had adopted a rebellious attitude. I did the exact opposite of whatever i was told. But one day, when involved a practice paper and did horrifically in it, I realized that my parents were right. They had always been right. They criticized me every day, but they only did so for my good. They wanted me to do the best that I possibly could. At first I shielded myself from the criticism, but soon I began to realize that there were problems with my attitude. Since then, I began to adopt a different approach to my work. I began to work diligently, day after day in the pursuit of my goals. With their criticism, which was actually a form of guidance, I began to achieve more. My teachers criticized me, there were points when they felt I was slackening, but their criticism showed me that they never gave up on me all through. They got me through the hardest phase in my life because of their criticism. Sure enough, I got a ninety three per cent in those exams. If they had never told me I had gone wrong, I would never have been able to improvise on those mistakes and rectify them. This was only one example. Another example where criticism worked wonders was in the case of the great Indian cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar.
Since he was a child, Sachin Tendulkar's coach criticized him. Though it was honest and well-intended, his coach's remarks often hurt and discouraged him. Every great achievement of his, as perceived by him was belittled by his coach. He went through rigorous training with the same coach for years. Today he is the world's top cricketer, thanks to that criticism itself. Each time he was criticized, he felt the need to do better, to outshine himself. And sure enough, the fruits of his labour arrived. He became known worldwide for his talent, hard work and determination. This example too, reflects the positive effects of constant criticism.
Hence, as depicted by the above two examples, criticism if put forth in a constructive manner can bring out the best in a person. We must not shield ourselves from it. By shielding ourselves from it, we are simply hampering chances of our success in the future.
Aditya Kumar's essay on his work at Indian Spinal Injuries Institute
Aditya showcased both his sensitivity and his interest in medicine through his essay. He wrote about the patience required to document the children’s stories as well as the wider impacts of his research.
Aditya Kumar - Grinnell '14
I spent my summer holidays as a volunteer in the underprivileged wing at the Indian Spinal Injuries Centre writing patient histories. My time there was spent talking to the patients (mainly children suffering from spinal injuries), documenting their injury conditions and recovery experiences. The PR team of the hospital sent proposals to prospective sponsors based on this research. Getting the children to talk about the sensitive topic of their injuries was difficult. This process of rapport building could take from an hour to a couple of days. Then I had to get down to the important job of collecting sensitive personal information from them in order for the hospital to find sponsors. I found this to be a challenging, but satisfying experience, as I knew that the conversations I documented would help the patients continue to receive treatment at the hospital and hopefully improve their condition.
Aditya Kumar - Grinnell '14
I spent my summer holidays as a volunteer in the underprivileged wing at the Indian Spinal Injuries Centre writing patient histories. My time there was spent talking to the patients (mainly children suffering from spinal injuries), documenting their injury conditions and recovery experiences. The PR team of the hospital sent proposals to prospective sponsors based on this research. Getting the children to talk about the sensitive topic of their injuries was difficult. This process of rapport building could take from an hour to a couple of days. Then I had to get down to the important job of collecting sensitive personal information from them in order for the hospital to find sponsors. I found this to be a challenging, but satisfying experience, as I knew that the conversations I documented would help the patients continue to receive treatment at the hospital and hopefully improve their condition.
Raghav Gupta - CMU 2016 Essay Critique
The essay reflects a very graphic memory. It builds vivid pictures of the scenes from a trip to the Kumbalgarh Wildlife Sanctuary, making the reader feel like they're actually there.
The essay focusses on a lot of detail basically, helping the reader understand the feeling in the moment back then. and talks of how its a very beautiful world with all the wildlife around-that all of us love to take and see pictures of them, and of how precious they are. The wildlife- world has been misunderstood and targeted and killed for ages.so most of wildlife is now endangered and on the verge of extinction. We, as responsible citizens of the rest of the world should understand the concept of 'Live and Let Live' and grow to become better individuals.
I guess how and what we write usually talks about the kind of person we are. and so does the above essay,speaking of the writer's sensitivity among the few things..
We parked the truck on the deserted trail and made our way through the grassy expanse on foot. Four hours and still no sign of a beak. My impatience with the grey jungle fowl was growing. The sun was a retreating disc of orange on its westward journey, plunging into the depths of the horizon. Traversing the forest on foot, with the failing light and the lurking danger of wild beasts, wasn’t among my wisest decisions.
I trudged through the undergrowth sporting a confidence I did not feel. Then I saw a red glistening wattle protruding from a bush. My eyes widened and my heart leapt. There it was, right ahead, its head bent low as it scouted for insects and berries. Camera at the ready, I quickly began clicking, hoping to get a few good shots before it noticed my presence. My companion, an official from the forest department, kept a respectful distance, but I could sense his impatience. He wanted to get away.
Just a few more clicks I gestured, and turned back. The jungle fowl moved, hopped and flew away. Tired, frustrated and boiling with impotent rage I started to pursue it when my ears caught a faint rustling. Thinking nothing of it I continued to charge ahead, desperately parting the tall grass with my bare hands.
It was nearly sundown and I heard another rustling. I felt my companion grasp my hand, frantically trying to tug me away. ‘What?’ I almost barked at him in exasperation, but the words remained caught in my throat – for right there, not more than two hundred feet away, were two leopards. The stealth with which they had crouched right up to us had betrayed their presence. I became aware of my trembling hands, the jelly-like substances where my legs used to be, and the trickle of sweat which was making its way down my cheek. The alarmed look on my companion’s face was no solace either.
My thought process deceived me. The fact that the Kumbalgarh Wildlife Sanctuary nestled in the Aravalli ranges in southern Rajasthan was home to these wild cats was buried somewhere in my conscience. That I could meet them head-on and completely defenceless wasn’t. And then it got worse. The sinewy cats started making their way toward us. Petrified, I knew no escape. I was staring death in the face. The duo crossed the distance between us in the span of a few heartbeats. Now they were so close that I could feel their breath on my face, as my own breathing almost stopped. And then, with one careless look at me, as I squeezed my eyes tight shut, they leapt. I fell back with a wild scream but before I knew it, they were gone; chasing the hare that they thought would make a tastier snack.
Humans have hunted beasts for centuries now as if our survival depended on it. The truth however, in stark contrast, is that animals do not strike unless provoked. If there is anyone not willing to coexist, it’s us.
Deepshekhar Gupta's common app short activity essay on photography.
Deepshekhar wrote about the way photography helps capture poignant scenes that are usually ignored as well as how to discern the stories behind every shot.Deepshekhar Gupta Cornell ’15 EDThings are to me, not what they are to others. When I look about, I think about what is before me. Everything has a story behind it, everything has a purpose. The little sparrow that shakes itself dry off the water from the well behind my house, is not just about a bird washing itself. It is a picture portraying how animal has adapted its lifestyle to the nuances of the age of man. When I see the poor beggar boy running behind a car on the main road, I see that desperation to achieve something successful in the face of oppression and hardship. In the young athlete running laps on the nearby field, I see desire, passion, and the will to win. Through the camera lens, I see images. Being a photographer allows me to stop a moment when I see an image- enough time for my mind to register a message. The camera is my tool into the little things in life – the feelings, emotions, ideas that I hide behind the outer shell. It is my third eye and I see within.